


Growing Pains

by KopyKunoichi



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:14:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 32,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24485710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KopyKunoichi/pseuds/KopyKunoichi
Summary: When Ahsoka has an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction, Captain Rex helps her out of her predicament.A story in which Rex and Ahsoka are forced to re-examine their complex relationship with each other, and navigate the treacherous waters of attachment in the middle of a war zone. Emotions are explored. Dogmas are challenged. Futures are called into question. And one meddling ARC trooper is in the middle of it all.One thing they know: after this mission, things won't be the same as they were.
Relationships: CT-7567 | Rex & Ahsoka Tano, CT-7567 | Rex/Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 107
Kudos: 364





	1. Wardrobe Malfunction

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set after the episode "ARC Troopers" (when Fives and Echo are promoted) and before "Heroes on Both Sides" (where Ahsoka meets Lux Bonteri for the first time).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Ahsoka has a wardrobe malfunction, it's Rex who finds her and helps her out of an embarrassing situation. They have a little adventure and discuss some of the finer points of growing up in the middle of a war. Each struggles to define their unique relationship, complicated by the differences in their age, rank, status, and experiences. Rex discovers that he has more in common with his feisty little Togruta friend than he thought.
> 
> And Fives learns the importance of curbing his insatiable curiosity.

Rex emerged from the tunnel system, switching off his head lamps as the waning light of dusk cast its reddish glow on the mountainous terrain around them. Spread out around him was a small recon detachment of about a dozen men, and General Skywalker. They were returning from a scouting mission - determining how best to attack a droid manufacturing facility. There was a system of tunnels carved into the mountain at the rear of the plant, and the General had determined that in the morning, a small team would infiltrate the base from behind and set explosives to their main power generator while the rest of their battalion would knock on the front door. 

Far below them, Rex could see the slight movement from where the 501st had made camp, nestled inconspicuously between the base of two slopes. If they wanted to make it back before nightfall though, they would need to hurry down the steep, switchback trail. He approached General Skywalker, who was crouched next to a large boulder, stretching out his arms and rubbing his shoulders. The tunnels had been a bit difficult for the tall general and his troops to navigate, since the ceiling was often shorter than six feet tall, and supported by metal bracings that they had to remember to keep ducking down even further to avoid. 

The only one who _didn’t_ have any trouble was Ahsoka, who had made her way through the cramped spaces with her usual agility and grace. Speaking of which, where was the little Togruta? 

“Where’s Ahsoka?” Skywalker asked, echoing the Captain’s thoughts.

Rex looked over his shoulder at the tunnel’s dark entrance, “I was just wondering that. She was right behind me.”

Anakin activated his wrist communicator, “Ahsoka, where are you?”

A few seconds dragged out before she answered, “I’m back in the tunnels, Master. I’ll be right there.”

“What’s going on, Snips? We need to get down this mountain before it gets dark. We can’t risk using our lights this high up, or we might be seen.”

“I know. I, uh...dropped something back here and I just needed to go back and find it,” the padawan replied, sounding a little embarrassed.

Anakin exchanged a look with Rex, “Did you lose your lightsaber, again?”

“No, no. It’s not that. Look, just take the men down the mountain, I’ll catch up to you.”

“I’m not leaving you up here by yourself,” Anakin protested.

“I’ll stay, sir,” Rex volunteered. “Take the rest down to camp and I’ll hang back here. Knowing her, we’ll probably catch up before you make it all the way down.”

“Fine. Did you hear that, Snips?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. We’ll be right behind you,” she agreed, though her tone sounded like she didn’t quite believe that. 

Anakin frowned, but he didn’t press her for more details on _what_ exactly she had lost. Motioning to the men, he turned to lead them down the precarious trail. Throwing one last look over his shoulder, he said, “Let me know when you two are on your way down.”

“Yessir,” Rex replied, lingering by the entrance to the tunnels.

Once the men were out of sight, Rex switched his head lamps back on and ducked back into the caves. Whatever Ahsoka had lost, it ought to take less time if two people were looking for it. He retraced their steps along the main tunnel, past two junctions and up a third. He berated himself for not realizing she had fallen behind this far back into the labyrinth. He should have run into her by now.

“Commander?” he called softly.

Nothing.

He went a little further along the path, “Commander?”

This time, she answered from not too far ahead, “Yeah, I’m fine, Rex. Hang on a minute.”

“Did you find what you were looking for?” he asked.

“Yeah?” it sounded more a question than a statement. 

From the sound of her voice, she must be just up the tunnel where it took a sharp turn to the left. He pressed forward, grateful that the ceiling here was high enough for him to stand up all the way. He could now see a green glow that must be coming from her lightsaber. 

The lights on his bucket preceded him up the tunnel, and all of the sudden, Ahsoka’s voice rang out, “No, stop!”

Was someone else in here with them? Was she being attacked? He sprang forward, his DC-17s already in his grip. 

“Sir!” he shouted as he rounded the corner, flooding the narrow passage with light, his blasters seeking a target.

Ahsoka was alone, crouched on the ground, a lightsaber in her left hand and the other arm awkwardly thrown across her chest. A few moments later, he realized why. Clutched in her right hand was a small strip of red material - her top - and her slender arm was the only thing covering up her completely bare torso - and it wasn’t really doing a good job of it. 

_Kriff._

“Rex! I said ‘stop’! Did you not hear me?” she demanded in an irate voice.

“I, uh…” he stammered, before suddenly remembering now would be an excellent time to turn his back to her and give her privacy. 

“I’m very sorry, Commander. When I heard you shout, I thought perhaps someone was attacking you. It honestly didn’t occur to me that you were addressing me, in the moment.”

“It’s fine, I understand,” she replied, but she sounded anything but fine. 

“Can I ask...what happened?” he ventured.

“Yeah, just do me a favor first. Take your helmet off and turn it toward me so I can put my lightsaber away.”

He did as told, setting the bucket down between his feet facing her, while he kept his eyes trained toward the darkness of the tunnel in front of him. He straightened, clasping his hands behind his back. The reverberating sound of the lightsaber blade receding into its hilt echoed off the cave walls and then it was eerily quiet for a long moment.

“If I tell you, will you promise not to tell anyone else?” she asked quietly.

“Of course, sir. You don’t have to tell _me,_ if you don’t want to.”

“Well, someone might as well know. So back when you were in front of me with your lamps on, I got distracted by some interesting bioluminescent fungus on the wall. I let you get ahead a little bit so I could see it more clearly. Then when I tried to catch up in the dark, I ran right into a spiderweb. A _big_ one. I don’t know how all of you missed it. It was all over my entire head and I’m pretty sure its occupant was still in it. 

Anyway, I jumped backwards and tried clawing it off my face, and then my back bumped up against one of these old support beams. It was corroded and rusty and it snagged the back of my top without me realizing it. When I pulled forward it ripped it clean in half. I didn’t know what to do. If I called you back, you’d find me here half-naked - along with Anakin and a dozen other men. So I backtracked a bit and waited for you to get far enough ahead that I could use my lightsaber for light.”

Rex took in her story and made a valiant effort not to chuckle out loud at the image of the unflappable Ahsoka freaking out over running into a spiderweb. It _was_ a funny story - the boys were going to be sorry they missed it. Though the situation made him quite uncomfortable, he was grateful it was him who had run into her like this rather than any of them. One of the others might have blabbed it, and it was best this stay just between them. 

“Well, what now? Can you fix it? Your top, I mean,” he asked.

“No. The material was snug already, it had to be to stay up. There’s not enough excess to tie it to itself, and if I cut it in half lengthwise to make it longer--” she trailed off.

“It will be too thin to actually do you any good,” he finished.

“Exactly,” she agreed, her tone miserable.

“All right, what are our options?” he said, assuming his best military strategist voice.

“I could maybe cut some material off my leggings to make another top out of,” she suggested.

“It’s getting dark out there fast, and we need to get down the mountain before we lose all our light. Whatever we do, it needs to be quick.”

“Can I borrow your knife? I can’t really cut my pants off with a lightsaber while they’re still on me.”

“Hang on, I’ve got a better idea,” Rex interrupted. 

With practiced ease, his fingers began undoing the magnets, buckles, and stays that held his armor on. 

“What are you doing? You’re not actually thinking of putting me in your armor - I’ll never fit in it.”

“Not my armor. I have an undershirt beneath my blacks. It probably doesn’t smell the best, but it’s compression material, so it should fit you well enough.”

“Oh, okay…” her voice trailed off as he got his chestplate off, letting it drop rather unceremoniously. 

He was attempting to do this as quickly as possible, so he wasn’t really bothering to stack the pieces up neatly. He finally finished divulging his upper body from all its plastoid, just leaving his blacks underneath. He crossed his arms in front of him and gripped the bottom hem, pulling the tight material up and over his head. His undershirt came off with it. It took him a moment more to disassociate the smaller article of clothing from the larger one. Finally he got it free and turned it right side out again. Careful to keep his eyes forward, he reached behind himself and held the sleeveless black undershirt out to her. 

“Here,” he offered. 

Her warm fingers brushed his when she took it from him, and for a moment he caught the sound of her breathing, which seemed a little more rapid than normal. It took a lot for the young Togruta to get out of breath, so he assumed she was just anxious to get the hell out of these tunnels. As was he. This entire situation was quite outside of his comfort zone, and he was more than ready to be out of here. 

He heard the rustle of material being pulled over skin. Still he waited for her to confirm that she was completely covered before risking any movement. Suddenly, slender arms snaked around his waist, and her cheek came up against his back between his shoulder blades. His body went rigid at her unexpected action. This was the first time she had ever shown him physical affection beyond a playful punch to the arm or a light shove. 

“Thanks, Rex. You’re the best,” she told him, her voice holding nothing but extreme gratitude.

He wasn’t quite sure how to react to his superior officer hugging him from behind - especially since he had never been embraced by anyone - except for a rare, friendly squeeze from one of his brothers. He raised his hand and patted hers where it clutched his stomach, realizing for the first time how incredibly petite her hands were next to his. She was so small. And yet, he was forced to admit that she wasn’t a youngling anymore either, as the curves she had been trying so desperately to cover up earlier pressed into the small of his back. 

“No problem, kid,” he replied, adding that last bit to remind himself of the truth that - though she was not a youngling - she wasn’t a woman yet, either. 

“How do I look?” she asked, releasing him and taking a step back.

He turned toward her hesitantly, attempting to look her up and down with as detached an air as possible. The shirt was long on her, of course, the bottom of it hanging almost to her upper thighs. But the compression material was elastic enough that it mostly clung to her frame. There might be one issue though...

“It fits well enough,” he said. “Raise your arms.”

She complied, and he grimaced slightly at the result. The armholes were too big for her and they crept rather low down the length of her ribcage. If she moved the wrong way in his shirt, it would reveal the sides of her breasts. He reached down and retrieved his combat knife, beckoning her closer.

“One little adjustment,” he said.

She held still while he cut the bottom hem of the shirt off. Moving behind her, he gathered up the material between her shoulders and drew it together. His actions caused the shirt to pull tighter across her front, but that couldn’t be helped. He threaded the strip of hem through one armhold and out the other, tying it off. Then he wound it through the sleeve holes, coiling it in a downward spiral. He tied that off at the bottom. 

“Raise your arms again,” he instructed, moving to survey her from the front and sides. “That’s better.”

The shirt was pulled tight across her chest, but the slack in the armholes had been taken up and pulled to her back, so she was no longer in danger of accidentally flashing her wares to any unsuspecting clones...or Jedi knights, for that matter. 

She looked over her shoulder at his handiwork and grinned, “I like how that works. Functional and fashionable - you should be a clothes designer, Rexter.”

He snorted - hard - which made her giggle. 

“We need to go, Commander. If we don’t get out of here soon, we’ll be climbing down the trail in pitch black.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll help you get your armor back on.”

 _Right, my armor._ He looked down at himself, just now realizing he was still shirtless. Ahsoka’s gaze followed his, and for a moment, he thought he saw her cheeks flush reddish-orange. 

He hastily turned away and bent to retrieve his black underarmor. He had gotten his head and arms through and was working it over his abdomen, when Ahsoka reached up and hooked her finger under the bottom edge, stopping him.

“It’s still inside-out,” she informed him. 

He looked down. Sure enough, where the Republic cog should have been, was just black material and visible seams. Sighing, he pulled the shirt off again and righted it, before once more sliding it on. He tucked the bottom hem under his utility belt all the way around and smoothed it. Ahsoka bent to retrieve his abdominal armor, having watched the clones kit up enough to know that it needed to go on first. She went behind him and helped line up the kidney piece and attach it. Next came his chest and back plates. She held the back piece on and attached the stays on over his ribs with surprising ease. 

“Have you done this before?” he heard himself asking.

“Done what?”

“Helped one of the men kit up.”

“Sort of. Kix had me take his armor on and off a few times so that I could get used to doing it efficiently. That way, if one of the men got injured and no one else was near enough to help, I would know how to remove his armor to get at the wound.”

“I see. That was...smart of him,” he said, though, for some reason, he found the idea of Ahsoka taking Kix’ armor off him to be distasteful. 

“Yeah,” she continued, moving around to his other side and prompting him to lift his arm so she could attach that as well. “I thought so too. It’s part of my job to keep you boys safe, but it’s good to still be able to do something for them if I fail on that point.”

“It’s not your job to keep us safe. It’s our job to keep _you_ safe,” Rex protested.

“I don’t see it that way. You do protect us, yes. But we also protect you. That’s what Master Skywalker taught me. That’s why we try to stay out in front and deflect as much fire as we can from you.”

“I know. And the men and I are grateful that you do that. But you shouldn’t be putting yourselves at risk just to keep a few more of us alive. We were bred for this.”

“Rex,” she said, and there was some steel in her voice now as she stepped around in front of him. “You were not bred to die needlessly. You are not expendable - not to me, not to Master Skywalker. Your life matters every bit as much as a Jedi’s.”

Rex saw the conviction in her bright blue eyes, and knew that she believed every word she just said. It shook him to his very core to know that she thought that way about him and his men. He knew that his face was reflecting the surprise he felt at her statement. He closed his mouth and pulled one corner of it up into a smile that he hoped gave her an inkling of what was in his heart.

Reaching up, he picked a lingering piece of cobweb off one of her montrals, “Well then, Commander - I suggest we get _each other_ safely back to camp before the General sends a rescue team after us.”

She beamed up at him, “Sounds good to me, Captain.”

He shoved on the rest of his arm and shoulder gear and retrieved his helmet from the floor, settling it back on his head. Ahsoka took her ruined top and looped it around her belt a few times. Rex set a fast pace as he led them both toward the tunnel’s exit, once again envious that Ahoka could move through the passages without needing to duck. He was pleasantly surprised when he managed to get them out without hitting his head once. He switched off his lamps just before they completely emerged into the open air.

The sun had now set, and all that was left to indicate its existence was a faint blue haze that was rapidly deepening to inky black. 

“Damn. Well this just got a whole lot harder,” he commented dryly.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take the lead. I can sense where the trail is, even if I can’t see it very well.”

“Fine by me. General Skywalker?” he said after activating his wrist comm.

“Skywalker,” the Jedi’s low voice replied almost instantly. 

“We’re making our way down to you now,” Rex informed him.

“You’re just leaving the tunnel _now_? What took you so long?”

“We had a slight...complication. But it’s all fine now, we’re both fine here...now. How are you and the boys?” Rex finished awkwardly.

“Already at the bottom waiting for you two. I was about to go back up and find you myself.”

“No need for that, sir. We’ll be there in no time.”

“Just don’t rush down that grade too quickly in the dark. The last thing I need is either of you getting hurt from something stupid like that.”

“Copy that, sir. See you...when we get there.”

Rex switched off his comm and began working his way down the trail after Ahsoka. The path was extremely narrow, and he often had to press himself sideways against the mountain, rather than walk with his shoulder to it. He caught up with her quickly, but he suspected she had been waiting for him.

“Don’t forget, you promised not to tell anyone when we get back,” Ahsoka reminded him, feeling her way carefully along the trail ahead of him.

“ _What_ exactly am I not supposed to say? They’re going to see your shredded top tied to your belt and my shirt in its place. I’m pretty sure even Hardcase could put two and two together and figure out what happened.”

“I meant, you’re not going to tell them _how_ it got ripped in the first place, right?”

“I won’t mention the spider, if that’s what you’re concerned with. But honestly, that’s the best part of the whole story,” he commented, and this time, he couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

“That’s the _worst_ part! I’ve fought in dozens of battles against all kinds of Separatist battle droids and soldiers; I’ve had run-ins with pirates, crime bosses, you name it. And I’ve always handled myself just fine. What would everyone think of me if they knew I lost my cool over a spider? I’ve worked so hard to earn the respect of the men and my Master - you _can’t_ tell them, Rex!”

“Relax,” he assured her in a placating tone. “I told you already, I won’t tell them that part. Look, just them tell the truth. You stopped to look at something interesting. You lost the light. You backed up against a sharp beam without realizing it and it tore your top off. And that’s how I found you.”

He paused, turning that last part over in his head, “On second thought, don’t say ‘that’s how I found you.’”

“Why? That _is_ how you found me.”

“Yeah, but I’d prefer the General not interrogate me on how much I did or did not see.”

Ahsoka reached back and tapped his wrist, “Watch your step, the trail twists back on itself and gets steep here.”

Not for the first time, Rex berated himself for not bringing his night vision on this little excursion. They had expected to be back long before it got dark, so he had left the extra gear back at the camp. He let her guide him around the corner and down the bank. He was facing forward, his skidplate brushing the ground for how steep it was. His left foot landed on some loose soil and he started to slide forward, desperately trying to get purchase on something - anything - with his hands and feet. An invisible force pushed him back up against the mountain, slowing his momentum enough for him to regain a foothold. 

“Thanks.”

“No problem,” she replied from just below him. 

He followed her down a little ways until the trail leveled out again, keeping close on her heels. 

“So...what _did_ you see?” she asked, so quietly, he almost didn’t hear her.

 _Damnit._ “Nothing. Not a thing,” he answered, a little too quickly and much too loudly.

He heard her sigh, “You are a terrible liar, you know that, Rex?”

 _Yes, I do know that._ “Listen, Commander...I wasn’t trying to look. I didn’t realize at first what had happened. And you were _mostly_ covered. I didn’t mean to --”

“Rex,” she stopped him, her voice calm and soothing. “It really is okay. I’m not angry with you. I know you wouldn’t do that on purpose. And with all that I’ve been through with you boys, it’s kind of amazing that something like this hasn’t happened sooner. Honestly though, I’m kind of glad it was you and not anyone else.”

“Yeah, me too. Just imagine if it had been Fives.”

“Oh! Force forbid,” she giggled. “I would give it about three days before the entire 501st _and_ the 212th knew my bra size and that I have a strong dislike of arachnids.”

“Well, I wouldn’t go quite that far. He’d definitely rat you out about the spider thing, but I don’t think he would share any details about seeing you...partially unclothed. You’re like a little sister to them.”

“Really? Is that how you see me?”

“Me, personally?” he asked.

“Yeah. Trail cuts to the right here,” she warned.

He slowed and picked his way carefully along the path, taking some time to ponder her question. 

“Can I be honest, sir?”

“I think we’ve already established that you’re incapable of being _dishonest_ , so yes - I’d prefer the straight truth. And while it’s just us up here, you can call me ‘Ahsoka’.”

“Alright, Ahsoka,” he began, trying to recall if he had ever used her name to address her directly before. “I truly don’t know quite what to think of you. The parameters of our relationship keep changing. When I first met you, you seemed barely more than a youngling to me. You were inexperienced in a lot of ways. But you also outranked me, which made it difficult to know how to treat you. You learned fast, though - so it wasn’t long before I felt I could trust you with the lives of my men.”

“I didn’t learn fast enough for some,” she replied, and there was a deep sadness in her tone.

“Don’t do that to yourself. We’ve all made mistakes, and we have to learn from them. Some come with a high price - especially in war. But you understood the cost and you never took it for granted, which is partly why I trust you so much now. I know you don’t see the men as expendable - and you and the General are on the front lines with us every day. That means a lot to us clones.”

“So you don’t see me as an inexperienced kid anymore?”

“Not inexperienced, anyway. I don’t see you as a child, but you’re not quite all grown up yet either. But then again - you’re technically four years older than me, so I guess it depends on how we define ‘kid’. You’re older than me, but I have an adult body and most of the experience and education of an adult. But there’s other things that I don’t have as much knowledge of - which is why we’re having this rather confusing conversation right now. Because I don’t have a good frame of reference to figure out our relationship.”

Ahsoka made a thoughtful sound, “Don’t beat yourself up about that, Rex. I have a hard time figuring it out too. Let’s face it, there are a lot of factors that make our relationship complicated. Like you said, you’re a grown man, but you’re also only...what? Eleven?”

“Almost twelve.”

She laughed, “And I’ll be sixteen before long. By my people’s reckoning, I’m already considered a young adult - even though I’m still growing. In our culture, once you’ve proven yourself as a warrior and you’re of child-bearing age, you’re no longer considered a kid. Check and check. 

But on Coruscant, the rules are different. I’m old enough to jump in a starship and fight, but I’m not old enough to drink alcohol. I’m old enough to lead troops in war, but I’m not old enough to get married. I mean - I’m not saying I want to do either - those are just examples. 

And you...you spent the first ten years of your life with your brothers and a bunch of Kaminoans who trained you and educated you about all things having to do with war and fighting, but never bothered to teach you about relationships and art and history and anything that didn’t have to do with turning you into perfect soldiers.”

“You’re not wrong. In many ways, us clones are pretty immature when it comes to relationships and social issues. What we do know, we’ve learned mostly in our interactions with the Jedi and whoever else we’re assigned to serve. Most of those relationships are pretty cut and dry, though. The chain of command is clear. I’ve got the brothers who answer to me, and I’ve got the brothers I answer to. Above them are the generals.”

“And somewhere in the middle, is me,” she added.

“You’re my commander. Your place in the chain of command isn’t the problem.”

“Maybe _your_ place in the chain of command is the problem,” she suggested. “You’re a captain, but Anakin treats you like a commander. I’m a commander simply because I’m a Jedi, not because I’ve earned the rank. So when it comes to responsibility, you and I are more like equals. On paper, I outrank you. But in practice, you and I are sort of like co-commanders.”

“More like co-parents to a bunch of rowdy teenagers,” he teased.

“An eleven-year-old grown man and a fifteen-year-old not-as-grown woman babysitting a bunch of ten-year-old grown men - all of us answering to a twenty-one-year-old who is probably more of a child than any of us. Does that about sum it up?”

Rex laughed out loud, he couldn’t help himself, “That is terrifyingly accurate.”

They were nearing the foot of the mountain now, and the base camp was not too far away, though all the lights had been extinguished to avoid detection from any random air patrols. Rex found himself somewhat disappointed that their time together was drawing to an end. As awkward as it had been at moments, it was nice to talk to her this way, just the two of them. 

“Maybe we can make this more simple,” Ahsoka suggested.

“Make what ‘more simple’?”

“You and I. The chain of command really only matters in the middle of battle, right? So, any other time, let’s just be friends.”

He smiled at her, even though neither of them could see the other, “Fine with me. But I’m still going to call you ‘sir’ or ‘commander’ in front of the boys.”

“Okay. But when it’s just us…?”

“I’d say after all we’ve been through tonight, we are definitely on a first-name basis.”

She snickered, “Sharing clothes, helping you kit up, having a long define-the-relationship talk - yeah, I’d say you’d better start calling me by my first name.”

“So have you decided what you’re going to tell the General yet?”

“The truth. I won’t tell him you saw me half naked though,” she teased, her voice dropping to just above a whisper.

“Thanks. I’d like to see my twelfth year,” he commented, wishing she wouldn’t bring _that_ up. 

A moment later, two figures emerged from the shadows, distinguishable only as darker shadows.

“Commander. Captain. We were beginning to get worried about you,” one of the clones commented. 

“No need. It was just slow going getting down the mountain in the dark is all. Everything in order here?” Rex asked.

“Yessir. Most everyone is tucked in for the night, except for the General and the others on patrol.”

“Good. Carry on. We’ll report to General Skywalker.”

As the two men began to move past, one of them leaned close to Rex, a pauldron on his right shoulder brushing underneath Rex’s left pauldron, “You’ll have to tell us _all_ about your little escapade when you get back.” 

Something in his voice put Rex on edge. In near pitch dark, it was impossible to tell which of his men these two were. The slight variations in their voices and tones wasn’t quite enough to differentiate them without a face to go with it. But there was something about the way his brother had delivered that comment that put him in mind of Fives. It didn’t make sense for him to be on the first patrol of the night watch. But the ARC troopers were the only others in their group who had pauldrons on their right shoulders, and only two of them had deployed on this mission. Had they overheard the last part of his and Ahsoka’s conversation? 

As they moved off into the shadows, Ahsoka wheeled around on him slapping a hand on the center of his chestplate.

“That was Echo and _Fives_!” she hissed. “What are they doing on a night patrol?”

Great. He had really hoped his hunch had been wrong, “How do you know? Do you think they heard?”

“Because Fives has a very distinct Force signature; and yeah, I’m pretty sure from the tone he took that they heard us.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll deal with it. Let’s get you back to the General first and then I’ll catch up with them before their patrol is finished.”

“Okay, okay. Ugh, why did I say that so close to camp? And I even made it sound worse than it actually was!” she cried.

“Ahsoka,” he said in a low voice, “I promise it will be alright. Fives may have a big mouth, but he _will_ keep it shut if he knows what’s good for him. Now, c’mon.”

Rex navigated in the dark, finding his way more by the familiar layout of the camp than by sight. Most of the men had settled down in orderly rows next to walkers at the back of the formation. General Skywalker had set up his tent in a center, forward position. Ahsoka’s smaller shelter was already unpacked and set up near his. Before they had even entered the central clearing, the General thrust aside the door flap and approached them. 

“Are you two okay? What took you so long?”

“We’re fine, Master. But do you mind if we talk inside your tent, please?”

“Uh...sure,” he replied, leading them back to his lodging and ushering them inside.

Once inside, the General turned on a small lamp that cast its warm glow on the interior, but remained invisible outside the tent’s thick sides. He turned back to them, and Rex pulled off his helmet, despite strongly preferring to keep his expression hidden beneath it. There was no point in keeping it on though - the General was a Jedi and he would sense Rex’s emotions whether he could see his face or not.

“Ahsoka, what are you wearing?” was Skywalker’s next question.

“Um, this is…”

“It’s mine, sir. Ahsoka had a bit of a - wardrobe malfunction. So I gave her that to wear instead.”

“A ‘wardrobe malfunction’?” he pressed, clearly wanting a bit more information.

“It got snagged on one of those rusted tunnel supports and ripped. I couldn’t fix it and I was too embarrassed to call you back,” Ahsoka blurted out. “Rex came back in and I explained the situation to him, so he gave me this. By the time we got out of the mountain it was dark, so it took us a while to get down. I’m sorry, Master. I should have been paying better attention to my surroundings.”

“It’s okay, Snips. It happens. I’m glad it was just this and nothing more serious. Alright, well, I’m sure you’re both tired and hungry. So why don’t you get something to eat and get some shut eye. We’ve got a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

“Okay, Master. Thank you,” she said, ducking out of the tent immediately.

Rex made to follow her.

“Captain, a moment.”

He froze, stiffly turning back to face the General.

“Have everyone muster at 0600 and we’ll go over the plan one more time. I want to make sure we’ve got the timing right on this.”

“Yessir. Will that be all, sir?”

“Yes,” he started to turn away, stopped and turned back. “Wait.”

Rex’s nerves couldn’t take much more of this, “General?”

“Is Ahsoka really okay? I sense she’s still troubled.”

“I’m sure she’s fine, sir - she’s just embarrassed is all.”

“I sense _you’re_ troubled too,” he added. “How did you find her in the tunnels?”

 _Here we go._ “She warned me before I got too close.” _Technically true._ “And she was still covered up.” _Mostly._ “So I just turned around and gave her my shirt to cover up with.” _And then she hugged me, but you don’t need to know that._ “It was a bit awkward for both of us, but no harm done.” _A fair assessment of my entire evening._

“Understood. Well, to be honest - I’m kind of glad it was you and not me.”

_That seems to be the common sentiment of everyone involved._

“Yeah, well...I honestly don’t have a good answer to that.”

Skywalker chuckled, “What I meant was, Ahsoka trusts you. And while I’m sure it was uncomfortable in the moment, I doubt it will make things weird between the two of you later. And I know you’ll be discrete about the whole thing.

_The joys of being the only responsible quasi-adult within four parsecs._

“Of course, sir. Ahsoka is a valued part of our group and none of us would ever do anything to disrespect her.”

_Speaking of which, time to hunt down a certain ARC trooper and threaten him into a state of abject terror._

“I know that, Rex. You all have gone out of your way to include her; and you especially have done so much to help train her, and shape her into the person she is. She’s lucky to have a friend like you.”

To hear the General refer to Rex as Ahsoka’s friend, when it was a conclusion that the two of them had only just arrived at, shook him a bit. Did he know what they had talked about? Unlikely. Perhaps it just seemed obvious to him looking at them from the outside that they were friends, and had been for some time. Regardless, he approved of his clone captain befriending his padawan - and that was what truly mattered. Skywalker counted him as worthy to be her equal, and approved of his influence over her. He couldn’t help the smile that lifted the corners of his mouth at that thought.

“ _I’m_ lucky to count her as a friend, sir. And this battalion is all the better for her presence.”

Skywalker grinned back at him, “We are, aren’t we? Alright, go on and get some dinner. See you in the morning.”

“Goodnight, sir.”

Rex left the tent and gave his eyes a moment to adjust to the dark. Movement to his right drew his attention as Ahsoka pushed aside the flap to her tent. A little bit of light crept outside the entrance, and he strode over to her and squeezed inside when she motioned him in. His head was grazing the top of the canvas, but there was a comfortable amount of space between them.

“I got worried when he told you to stay. You have no idea how hard it was not to eavesdrop. He wasn’t upset, was he?” she asked, her large eyes wider than normal. 

Rex shook his head, “No, he wasn’t. He just wanted to make sure you were really alright.”

“Did he ask you, you know... _that_ question?”

“Yes,” he admitted, but hurried to add, “But my answer was satisfactory to him. He basically said ‘better you than me’.”

Ahsoka rolled her eyes, “He would say that. Not that I disagree. Anyway, are you going to find Fives now?”

“Yeah, right after I get my NODs so I can actually see him.”

“Rex, I’m sorry,” she said, looking down and fussing with the hem of her shirt - _his_ shirt.

“For what?” he asked.

“Everything. I made two stupid mistakes tonight, and you’re the one who has to keep fixing it.”

He sighed, “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. Look, just eat something. Go to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Okay. Goodnight, Rex.”

“Goodnight...Ahsoka,” he added in a low voice.

She rewarded him with a wide smile, and he returned the expression before ducking back out the entrance. Resisting the urge to turn his lamps on, he made his way to his gear and rummaged around for his NODs. He attached them to his helmet and slipped it back on, making a mental note of how much time had passed and where Fives and Echo ought to be in their perimeter sweep. Deciding on a direction, he headed out to intercept them - pleased when he found them just about where he expected them to be. 

Fives was the first to notice him approaching, and reached an arm out to halt Echo.

“Something wrong, sir?” Echo asked.

 _Not for long_. “No, just came to have a little chat with you boys.”

“About?” Fives asked warily.

“About what you heard tonight when the commander and I were returning to camp.”

Now Echo was nervous, “We didn’t hear anything, sir.”

“That’s right. You didn’t,” Rex agreed.

Fives, always more curious than sensible, begged to differ, “Oh come on, Captain. She came back with her shirt on her belt and _yours_ on her body. You really aren’t going to tell us what happened up there?”

“No, I’m not - because it’s none of your business.”

“I’m not suggesting anything happened,” Fives pressed. “You would never do that - none of us would. It’s _Ahsoka_. I just want to know if you really saw her half naked like she said you did.”

Rex felt his color come up a bit as, for the third time today, he answered this question, “No. I did not actually see her half naked,” he bit out. “And if you repeat _any_ of this to anyone else - tonight, tomorrow, or months from now when you’re drunk at 79’s - I will hunt you down and make you rue the day you ever got assigned to this legion. Are we clear?”

“Yessir,” Fives and Echo repeated simultaneously, straightening up like a couple of shinies fresh off Kamino.

“No comments, no snide remarks, no sideways glances, nothing that would make her feel more embarrassed than she already is. You hear me?” Rex added for good measure.

“We won’t, I promise,” Echo assured him. “Right, Fives?”

“Of course. Look, you know we would never do anything to make her feel bad. We all love her.”

“Yeah, well - you love your brothers too, but that doesn’t stop you from making fun of them,” Rex said, his voice softening. “All I’m saying is, this is one thing we can’t joke about. If she offers you any explanation herself, that’s fine - just don’t ask her about it.”

“I swear, we won’t say a thing,” Fives repeated. 

Satisfied that they both understood the importance of obeying this order - though Fives was the only one he had really worried about - Rex nodded and instructed them to finish their patrol. Now that the most pressing matter at hand was dealt with, he could move on to satisfy his hunger and need for sleep. 

He found some ration packs with his gear and forced the bland bars down his throat, chasing them with a few swallows of water. He debated removing his armor, but decided against it. He could sleep well enough with it on, and it would save him time in the morning. He set his helmet next to him and settled down on his right side, using his arm as a pillow. 

_What a night,_ he thought to himself. His thoughts drifted back to the feisty little Togruta who had captured the hearts of every clone who served with her. She was an enigma, to be sure. But he truly did believe that the 501st was better off with her than without her, and not just for her skills with a lightsaber. 

She was charismatic, like her Master, but even more than him, she truly enjoyed spending time with the clones. When she had free time away from Skywalker and the Jedi Order, she would sometimes sneak out of the Temple and join them in the barracks. On missions, she could be found eating and joking with the men as often as not. She got to know them individually, and understood their differences in ways that often only other clones noticed. She saw them as individuals and she treated them as men instead of tools. He knew she wasn’t supposed to be attached to them, any more than they were supposed to be attached to her. And yet, the 501st, specifically Torrent Company, was more than just an elite unit of one hundred and forty-four men and their commanding officers - they were a family. 

He smirked when he thought of her description of them earlier - just a bunch of overgrown boys and their babysitters, fighting a war. Though his men were well trained and more than capable of carrying out their jobs, there was certainly some truth to the analogy. It would be funnier if those boys weren’t getting killed by the thousands. Pushing that thought aside, he shut his eyes and tried to imagine Ahsoka running into that spiderweb one last time before drifting off to sleep. 


	2. Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Ahsoka was lying on a thin sleeping mat, the only cushion between her tired body and the packed ground. It did little to make it more comfortable, but she was used to sleeping on harder surfaces than this. Her mind wandered to the clones, who were probably mostly sleeping with their full armor on. They wouldn’t take it off when there was a possibility of enemy attack. She thought of Rex, sleeping out under the stars with his hard kit digging into him no matter which way he turned.

_Rex._

Her friend. Her _loyal_ friend, who had seen her at her lowest and not judged her or made fun of her. Her friend, who had patiently instructed and helped train her for the last year and a half. Her friend, who had always looked out for her and protected her. Her friend, who had faced death with her countless times. Her friend, who had suffered the indignity of having to take orders from a kid - even if she was technically older than him. Her friend, who had seen her failures to lead and still trusted her with the lives of his brothers. Her friend, who had guarded her modesty by literally giving her the shirt off his back.

His back. Oh, his _back_. She let her mind wander to that particular moment in the tunnels. 

_Ahsoka didn’t quite know what to think when the Captain suddenly started taking off his armor without so much as an explanation. She was standing behind him, her ripped top still clutched in her hand and her arms crossed over her chest, wishing her lekku were a bit longer to help hide her breasts. And then he just started taking off his kit, as if it had not occurred to him that_ both _of them being undressed would make this situation more awkward than it already was. Of course, she had seen the clones without their armor on before, but they always wore their blacks underneath. So when Rex took that off as well, she found her heart quickening at the sight of him._

_Everyone knew that the clones were extremely strong - that’s how they were designed. The thing was, they didn’t have bulky muscles either. They were all tall and wiry, their bodies knit together with hard sinew. Furthermore, they were fed on cheap rations that ensured they had absolutely no body fat whatsoever. The muscles in Rex’ back were corded and defined, and every movement he made was highlighted beneath his tanned skin. The shadows in the tunnel accentuated every line and angle as he wrestled with his apparel._

_When he finally managed to get his undershirt untangled from his blacks, he handed it back to her, obviously conscientious of keeping his eyes forward. She stepped toward him, unafraid to drop her hands from her chest as she took the shirt from him. For a brief moment in time, they were both standing there in the dark, naked from the waist up. But she knew he wasn’t going to look, because Rex was a good man, an honorable man - a kind man._

_She guided the shirt over her head, grateful that the opening at the neck was wide enough to easily accommodate her montrals. She put her arms through, and pulled it down over her torso. Though it was long enough to reach her legs, the material was so stretchy, it still fit her fairly well. It wasn’t hanging off her. Unfortunately, unlike her tube top, it had nothing on the inside to contain or shape her breasts. That couldn’t be helped, though. The important thing was, they were covered. Rex had rescued her again. And she couldn’t thank him enough for it._

_Seized by a sudden impulse to express the depth of her gratitude, she threw her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. When his entire body went rigid beneath her touch, she regretted not thinking her actions through more carefully. She wasn’t trying to make him feel more uncomfortable than he already was, nor was she trying to use the opportunity to more closely inspect his splendid physique. Although, it was kind of nice being close to him like this. His skin was warm where it touched hers, and she was as intrigued by the feel of his abdominal muscles as she was by the sight of his back._

_Also, he smelled incredible - which didn’t make any sense whatsoever. He ought to smell terrible, being stuck in his armor and blacks for several days on end in a hot, dry climate. His skin was salty, to be sure, but his scent was earthy and natural, with just a hint of some kind of spice, perhaps the lingering remnants of his soap or deodorant. Did clones even use deodorant? They had to._

_When she thanked him, she felt him relax against her - his long, calloused fingers patting her small hands affectionately. For reasons she could not identify, she wanted to hold onto him a bit longer. But she let go, recognizing that this was probably a lot weirder for him than it was for her. When she invited him to look her over, he did so with the critical eye of a military officer. She had not meant to stare at him while he was doing the same, but_ Force _, he was even more alluring from the front. His body was so sculpted, he looked like he was still wearing his armor. Her eyes swept over the hard planes of his chest and what she could see of his abs above his belt._

 _When he asked her to lift her arms, she realized at about the same moment he did that there was a slight problem. His grimace when he noticed the gaping opening at her sides brought a blush to her cheeks, but she was grateful when he immediately figured out a solution. Rex really was a smart guy. Once he altered the shirt to prevent the gaping arm holes from revealing too much, she offered to help him kit up. For a moment, he acted as though he had just realized he was still naked, which was ironic, given that it was about the_ only _thing Ahsoka had been thinking about since he had taken his shirt off. Admitting that to herself brought a blush to her cheeks again._

_He turned to the side to retrieve the long sleeve black shirt, shoving his arms in it so quickly that he didn’t realize it was still inside-out. She moved around him and dared to hook her finger under the hem as he was trying to pull it down over his torso, her nail lightly scraping against his stomach. When he realized his error, he crossed his arms again and drew the material back up, without bothering to turn away from her again._

_Ahsoka knew she had no business enjoying this as much as she did. She berated herself for staring at him, especially since he had been so careful about not looking at her the way she was looking at him. She had never looked at a man’s body the way she was looking at his. Sure, she had seen shirtless men before, plenty of times. But she had never taken the time to really appreciate the finer points of the masculine body. She had certainly never felt the things that she was feeling in that moment, looking at Rex._

The things she was still feeling right now, hours later - when she should be asleep. Frustrated, she rolled over on her side and pillowed her head on the crook of her arm. Their long discussion following the exit from the tunnels had been good for them, but it had left her with more questions than answers. They had begun to tease out the complexities of their relationship, finally arriving at the conclusion that they were pretty much equals in the grand scheme of things, despite the difference in their age, rank, and status. But even as she had suggested that they acknowledge that they were friends, she couldn’t help but feel that she wanted _more_ from him. 

But it was completely impossible for them to be anything more than friends. She was a Jedi, forbidden from attachments. He was a clone, forbidden from fraternizing with a commanding officer. Even if he felt the same attraction for her that she did to him - he would never act on it. He was too loyal for that. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place with her feelings. She couldn’t just deny what she felt for him, but nor could she act on it, any more than he could. But oh, how she wanted him to at least see her as something more than just a half-grown adolescent. 

He told her that the other men saw her as a little sister, but that wasn’t exactly how _he_ saw her. He said he didn’t see her as a little kid, but he also didn’t see her as an adult yet, either. Like everyone, his attitudes on things like that were shaped by what he was taught and the culture that he found himself in. Whereas Ahsoka saw herself as a young woman - and other Togruta would agree with her assessment - Anakin, the clones, and many of her other friends did not see it that way. 

It was frustrating to be an alien living in a culture that was often dominated by mainstream human customs. Different cultures defined adolescence in different ways, or by a combination of factors. Some marked it by accomplishments or milestones. Others marked it with the onset of sexual maturity. Still others marked it by completion of education. Many humans simply decided on an arbitrary age that determined a person’s arrival into adulthood, regardless of their maturity, accomplishments, or education. Ahsoka knew she still had much wisdom and experience to gain, but she also knew that the same would be true of her when she was in her twenties and thirties and so on. 

The fact was, she was an accomplished warrior, by any reckoning. She had the lives of important people entrusted to her. She did not always make the right choices, but she assumed responsibility for her failures as well as her successes. And though Togruta took longer to reach their full height and adult appearance than human females - she had become sexually mature four years past. Though her montrals and lekku would continue to grow further into adulthood, puberty was over for her. There may be others who disagreed with her, but she was no longer a child - she _was_ a young woman. 

As if there needed to be any more proof of that fact, her desires to explore her sexuality were becoming more insistent. Because she had been raised in the Jedi order since childhood, she had always ignored any latent feelings of attraction for other people as she matured. Dismissing it as a weakness and a path to the Dark Side, she had used study and meditation to nip any of those wayward thoughts in the bud, before they could get carried away. 

When she was first assigned to Anakin, she had briefly felt an attraction for him as well. But she had deliberately shifted her views of him so that she could enjoy their master/padawan relationship without it being muddied by that sort of emotion. Also, getting to know Anakin better as a person had helped her get over those feelings. Though she still admired him and thought of him as a big brother, she had realized that he was not the sort of person she would fall in love with - if she ever let herself fall in love, that is. Honestly, they were too similar. She needed someone who would balance her out. Someone who was steady and dependable, someone who would remind her to stop, wait, and think things through before she acted.

She needed a Rex.

 _No, stop it! You don’t need a Rex because you can’t have a Rex_ , she chided herself, again. 

But oh, how she wanted him. Every moment she spent with him, she would discover something new about him that made her love him even more. The way he treated his brothers with kindness, but firmly keeping them in line. The way he took such good care of his gear, meticulously cleaning it and occasionally tweaking it to fit his needs. The way his analytical mind could look at a scenario, immediately find a potential problem, and solve it. The way he never complained about anything for himself, but would go out of his way to make sure his men had everything they needed - even if he had to go without. The way he constantly bleached his hair as a way to differentiate himself further from the other clones - and yet always kept it clipped close to his scalp. 

She enjoyed time spent with him, but now, she was worried it was going to be difficult to be with him without wanting him in other ways. The intensity of her feelings surprised even her. She wasn’t sure if meditation or sheer will power could do much to dissuade the desire she felt for him. She wondered if she would ever be able to look at him without imagining what was underneath that armor. What would it be like to touch his bare skin again? What would it be like if those long, calloused fingers explored her body, touching those places he had only caught a glimpse of tonight? She reached down and drew the fabric of his shirt up to her nose, drawing his scent deep into her lungs and imagining herself pressed against his sinewy back once more.

Ahsoka knew such ponderings were dangerous. It was a slippery slope once she let her mind wander down that path. She had always been so careful to avoid any of those sorts of thoughts long before they reached this point. In this case, she found herself wanting to indulge those imaginings all the way out to their inevitable conclusion. Because Jedi did not take vows of celibacy, sex by itself was not forbidden to them. If that was the case, surely just imagining it was okay too, wasn’t it? Of course, it wasn’t her physical attraction to him that was the problem, as much as her growing attachment. But just for tonight, she would let herself dream about what could have been if she was not a Jedi and he was not a clone. 

* * *

The next morning, Ahsoka awoke to the sounds of the camp beginning to mobilize. Usually, she was up before most of the others, but her mind had stayed awake long into the night, even remaining somewhat aware after she had drifted off to sleep. Her dreams had been _most_ satisfying though, she acknowledged with a small smirk. 

But enough of that. She needed to get her head on straight before she saw the object of the previous evening’s fantasies. As much as she had enjoyed indulging her imagination, she was determined that her relationship with Rex would remain as friendly, carefree, and unguarded as ever it was. Running quickly through her morning ablutions, she took a moment to tuck Rex’ shirt beneath her belt and skirt. Resisting the urge to bury her nose in the material one more time, she pulled her boots on and stepped outside the tent. 

Anakin was standing nearby, draining a cup of caf before the morning briefing. 

“Hey, Snips - did you have a good sleep?” he asked when he saw her.

 _You have no idea how good._ “Yes, Master. Did I miss anything?”

“No. Just going to run through the plan one more time. Also, I made a couple changes to the demo team.”

“Oh?” Ahsoka asked.

“I’ve decided to send you in with a couple specialists. We’ll do it just like we did with the weapons factory on Geonosis.”

“Well, hopefully not _just_ like Geonosis,” Ahsoka smirked, tilting her head toward him with a meaningful look.

“Yeah, try not to get buried under three thousand metric tons of rubble this time, huh?” he teased back.

“I’ll do my best.”

“Sir?” a familiar voice interrupted their banter.

Ahsoka’s stomach did an odd little flip flop when she sensed Rex approaching behind her. So much for keeping things totally normal. In any case, regardless of what was going on inside her, she was determined to act completely natural with him. He drew close to her right shoulder, his pauldron almost close enough to shade her head. 

“We’re ready to roll out. Everyone is formed up by the AT-TE’s for your final run through.”

“Very good, Captain,” praised Anakin, checking his chronometer. “You even got them ready with ten minutes to spare.”

“Nothing gets them on their feet faster than the promise of bustin’ up some clankas,” Rex drawled. 

“Alright, let’s get to it then.”

Anakin led the way toward the walkers and Rex fell in with Ahsoka behind him. She tried to think of something to say to him on the way, but nothing she came up with sounded right in her head.

_Did you sleep well? On the ground. In your armor. Next to one hundred forty-three snoring men. Unlikely. It’s too late to just say “good morning” to him. I could ask him about Fives, but Anakin is close enough to hear. I could be cryptic about it, but that might just make him suspicious. Should I ask him if he’s ready for the mission? No, that’s stupid. He’s always prepared for anything. I could wish him luck, but that makes it sound like he’s going to need it. He doesn’t need luck, he has all the training and skills of an ARC trooper and then some. Hmm, maybe Anakin will give me Rex to help with the demolition job. I wonder if he’s already told him where he wants him? I could ask him that._

Ahsoka opened her mouth to speak and then shut with a click when Anakin started talking. Rex left her side and moved to stand next to Kix, Jesse, and the ARC-troopers.

“Alright men, listen up - we’re going to go over this one more time. This is our target,” he said, pulling up a holomap that displayed an image of a craggy mountain.

At first glance, the rendering simply looked like an ordinary peak set in a rocky range of similar heights. Then Anakin pressed a button on his wrist and the image shifted to reveal what was _inside_ the mountain.

“As you know, this droid factory has been built into an old mining facility,” he continued. “The Separatists thought they were being sneaky with this one. Their shipments to and from here are sporadic and well concealed. The front entrance is not obvious, but it is heavily fortified and it’s also where the majority of their security is located. 

We’re here,” he pointed to a depression at the base of the rear slope. “I’m going to take half our forces along the western point and Captain Rex will lead the other half along the eastern ridge. We will converge on the entrance in the front and drop down on them unawares. While we keep their attention on the main point of entry, Commander Tanor will take ARC-troopers Fives and Echo, and infiltrate through the tunnel system we scouted last night and plant charges on the power generator, located here,” he indicated the point on the schematic before them. “Once they’re clear of the tunnels, they will detonate the charges and bring the whole mountain on top of their heads. 

Our main objective is to keep them bottled up near the entrance of the mines. When the demolition team is ready to start the fireworks, we will retreat just enough to avoid getting caught in any rock slides. To keep pressure on the entrance, I want cannons situated on these adjacent slopes here and here, to catch the droids in a crossfire while we pull back. I assigned those artillery teams yesterday - does everyone know where they’re going?”

A chorus of confirmations reassured Anakin that everyone knew their position. No one questioned why the General had altered the demolition team from Ahsoka and eight men - as he had proposed yesterday before they scouted the tunnels - to Ahsoka and two men. Fives and Echo were ARC-troopers, and this was their speciality. The three of them could get in and get out with less risk of being detected. It made sense. 

Ahsoka locked eyes with Rex across from her, shifting her gaze to Fives and Echo and then back to him. His face was open and relaxed, and he gave her a slight nod to indicate all was well. That was probably the only exchange they were going to have about the subject before they moved out, but it was enough. 

Assuming his grizzly captain voice, Rex started barking orders to the men. He had already formed the walkers up in two columns, and the men quickly split into their respective groups. As the rest of them got ready to mobilize, Fives and Echo approached her, each with their helmets still tucked under their arms. Echo handed her a small ruck with explosives and a detonator. 

“Ready to head out, sir,” he said, his gentle voice edged with a twitch of excitement. 

Shouldering her gear, Ahsoka flashed him a wide grin, “Better not keep these tinnies waiting, then!”

Fives was uncharacteristically silent, but he matched her expression and nodded in agreement. Before they could head out of the camp, Anakin waylaid them. 

“Signal me when you are in the tunnels after you plant the charges. It should take us about the same amount of time to get to a safe distance as it will take you to get out of the passages.”

“Will do, Master. Good luck up there.”

“You too, Snips. Take care of her, boys,” Anakin encouraged.

“More likely she’ll be the one taking care of us,” Fives commented.

Ahsoka smirked and Anakin chuckled, “You’ve got a point there. Just remember to play this one smart. No direct confrontations if you can avoid it. In and out.”

“Yessir.”

Fives fitted his prototype helmet over his head and turned to Ahsoka, “Shall we?”

“Race you to the top,” she challenged with a grin.

Even though she knew it would take some time for the main body to get to the other side of the mountain, Ahsoka sprinted up the steep, winding trail back to the tunnel entrance. Time and disuse made the path hard to see even in daylight, but they still made good time to the top. The dark entrance soon yawned in front of her, and Ahsoka paused to let Fives and Echo catch up. She couldn’t help but be impressed when they both appeared a couple moments later, not even out of breath. Their amor was a little lighter than the eighty-eight pound Phase I armor than Rex had to lug around, but it was still heavy. Ahsoka had not used the Force to aid in her ascent, but she only had to move her own weight - which was barely more than the armor these boys carried on their bodies every day. 

_They are so strong_ , Ahsoka thought, trying not to visualize the lean, rippling muscles Rex had displayed last night. 

Absentmindedly fingering the hem of his shirt, she stood to the side of the entrance, “You guys head in first, I’ll cover our rear.”

“You sure that’s a good idea, sir? We don’t want to los--” Fives started to say, before clamping his mouth shut so forcefully even his voice modulator caught the click of his teeth. 

“Lose me, again?” Ahsoka finished for him, cocking one white browband.

“What Fives meant was - it’s dark in there and it would probably be easier for you to navigate if you were between us - unless you use your saber as a flashlight.”

 _Echo - always the practical peacemaker_ , she mused. 

“Right, that’s what I meant. It’s better if we put you in the middle of the clone sandwich for this part.”

_And Fives - who manages to make even the simplest analogies sound dirty...or maybe that’s my own mind in the gutter._

She grinned in spite of herself and decided to run with it, “Clone sandwich? Kinky. Okay, Fives, lead on.”

He chuckled and switched on his head lamps before ducking inside. Ahsoka had forgotten that the clones couldn’t stand up in the tunnels in most places due to the low ceiling and supports. She supposed there were worse things than having to stare at Five’s armored butt for twenty minutes, though. Making use of the light that shone from the font of his helmet, Ahsoka peered around his body and reached out with her senses. There was no one else nearby, of that she was certain.

They crept along, silent and attentive, past many junctions and turn offs. The clones had mapped the tunnels last night on their recon mission, so all they had to do was follow the indicators on their HUDs. Ahsoka had memorized the twists and turns, but she was grateful that she could rely on clear directions instead of wasting brain-space trying to recall all that.

By the time they had reached the access hatch that led them into the mining facility, they estimated it would only be another five to ten minutes before the droids would be busy with their visitors at the front door. The three of them squeezed in around the grated hatch, trying to see what they were up against. Echo switched on his thermal scanner.

“No organics,” he said.

“The Techno Union rarely use them, if they can avoid it,” Ahsoka whispered.

“I count twenty B1’s and less than a dozen B2’s in there,” Fives said. 

“Let’s see how many scramble off when Master Skywalker gets here,” Ahsoka replied, quietly. 

They didn’t have to wait long before the boom of artillery fire shook the mountain, signalling the arrival of the rest of the 501st. On cue, half the battle droids and all the B2’s vacated the room.

“Well this just got a whole lot easier,” Echo stated.

“Yeah, don’t jink it,” Fives warned.

The trouble was, the grate was screwed in from the outside, meaning Ahsoka would have to cut it quickly before the droids could notice or call for backup. _Unless._

The droids were clumped together fairly close around the monitors, trying to see what was going on outside. If she could use the force to hold them there, Fives or Echo could cut the hatch with her lightsaber and the other one could shoot them once they were through. It would take some concentration on her part to suspend all six of them, but it was their best bet at remaining undetected.

“Are you ready to cut this thing?” Echo whispered to her.

“Actually, change of plans,” Ahsoka said. “You’re going to cut it.”

She offered him her lightsaber, feeling the trembling of his anxiety and excitement through the Force when he took the weapon from her outstretched hand. 

“I’m going to use the Force to hold those clankas right where they are,” she said, realizing belatedly she said “clankers” in the clone’s accent. “Fives - once Echo cuts the grate, I need you to get out there and shoot them down quick. This is going to take all my concentration to hold them still.”

“I like this plan,” he said.

“If it works,” she added with a wink. “Let me know if I got them all.”

She backed up to give Echo room to cut and reached out, fixing each droid in her mind. She couldn’t sense them like she could a living being, but she could separate their mechanical servos from the other machinery in the room. She closed her eyes, and lifted. The high pitched wails of the panicked droids suddenly filled the room beyond. 

“You got all six,” Fives confirmed.

The snap-hiss of her lightsaber igniting almost caused her to lose concentration. She could hear the blade cutting through the thick steel plate in an arc large enough for them to fit through, but she didn’t open her eyes to see how far Echo had gotten. She scrunched her nose and bared her teeth, feeling her grip on the droids slipping. Fives placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder as he prepared to punch through the hatch.

“Almost there, you’ve got this,” he encouraged.

All at once the lightsaber deactivated and Fives was gone. Still, Ahsoka kept her grip on the droids, making them an easy target for the ARC-trooper’s DC-17s. It was over in a matter of seconds. Echo squeezed through the hole, one of his pistols in hand to cover the door. He held her lightsaber out to her behind him. She took it and ran to the door, her fingers flying over the keypad. The blast doors descended with a pressurized hiss and she ignited her saber to destroy the control panel. She used the tip of her saber to weld the doors in place so nothing short of heavy ordinance could open them.

“How many more charges do we need to set?” she asked.

“None. We’ve got more than enough to blow this generator sky high,” Echo informed her.

“Great, let’s get outta here,” she said, crawling back in through the opening that they had made moments before.

 _That was easy_ , she thought. 

Remembering that she needed to inform Anakin of their progress, she activated her wrist comm, “Charges are set, Master - we’re on our way out.”

“Great job, Snips. I think that was a record,” his pleased voice came back to her over the din of laser and cannon fire around him.

“I’ll check in again just before we denote,” she said. 

“Alright. See you soon.”

Ahsoka led the way through the tunnels this time, setting a brisk pace once more. A thud behind her and a muffled “ow” let her know that one of the boys hadn’t quite ducked enough under one of the beams. She slowed down a bit, knowing that they couldn’t keep up with her while running hunched over. All the same, they made it back to the tunnel entrance in half the time it had taken for them to reach the generator room, since they were no longer concerned with stealth. 

“We’re back at the tunnel entrance, Master. Are you far enough back for us to detonate yet?”

“Yeah, go ahead,” he answered.

Fives took the detonator out of his sack and pressed the activation switch.

Nothing happened. 

He tried again, with the same result. Echo fished his own detonator out and tried too - and still nothing happened.

“Why the _kriff_ are neither of these working?” Fives exclaimed.

 _Of course it was too easy._ “Could it be the range?” Ahsoka asked out loud.

“It shouldn’t be,” Echo said. “These are good from three klicks.

“Maybe there’s something interfering with the signal,” Fives suggested.

“Look, we don’t have time to figure this out,” Ahsoka said. “I’ll go back and detonate them at range if they won’t work from here.”

“You can’t! Once that thing blows, the tunnel system will collapse on you. You’d never make it out in time,” Fives protested. 

“I’ll go,” Echo said, his voice deepened by quiet resolve.

“No, you won’t,” Ahsoka said firmly. “I still have my bag of charges. I can space them out just far enough to set up a chain reaction that will lead to the generator room. How far apart do I need to space these for one to set off the next?”

Fives cocked his head to the side as he made the mental calculations, “About twelve feet. Which is not nearly enough to get you even a quarter of the way back here.”

“Well then it’s a good thing I’m faster than you,” she countered.

“Sir, this is crazy. You can’t do this. It’s suicide,” Echo argued. “Let me go!”

“No, Echo - that’s an order. I have the best chance of pulling this off. You two tell General Skywalker what’s happening and then get down the mountain as fast as you can.”

She started to turn back, but Fives’ hand clamped down on her arm, “What are we supposed to tell him? That we let his padawan run back in there alone while we retreated? We’d never be able to look him or any of our brothers in the eye again. Hell, I wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the mirror again!”

"We’re coming with you,” Echo said.

Ahsoka gave an exasperated sound. They didn’t have time to argue about this - Anakin and the others were waiting for them. But she wasn’t about to back down, either.

“Listen to me, both of you. I am confident that I can get out before the tunnels collapse. But you two will never make it running bent over down those passageways. If you go with me, you’re going to die. If I go in alone, I can make it...but even if I don’t - there is no reason for three people to die instead of one. Your lives are worth just as much as mine is. You are _not_ expendable. Now, are you going to follow my orders or do I need to throw you off the side of this mountain to get you to listen to _your commander_?” she threatened.

Fives and Echo shared a look, and Ahsoka wondered if they were talking to each other from inside their helmets on the closed channel. 

“Fine,” Fives bit out. “But you better make it out of there alive. Because if anything happens to you, Rex is going to kill us anyway, if the General doesn’t first. And then I’m going to haunt you in the next life.” 

Ahsoka grinned at him, exuding a confidence that she didn’t completely feel, “Seeya in a few minutes, boys.”

She tagged them both on the shoulders before activating her lightsaber and sprinting back into the tunnels. Before long, her wrist comm was chiming with an incoming communication - undoubtedly Anakin telling her to stand down - but she ignored it. Without having to slow down for the clones, she made it back to the generator room in a fraction of the time it had taken for them to get back to the door. Coming back again would take longer though, because she had to set the charges on the way. When she slipped back through the grate, she heard the droids trying to break through the door. By the sound of it, they were still a long way off from achieving their goal.

Taking Fives’ recommendation, she set the charges ten to twelve feet apart and began working her way back. It was rather slow going to have to secure the charge, activate it, and move a few feet to repeat the process. Worse, she ran out of charges long before she was even a quarter of the way through the tunnels. It seems the clones had put less explosives in her bag than they had in theirs.

_Probably thought it was too heavy, the thoughtful idiots._

Sending a prayer to the Force that the detonator would work at this range, she backed off down the passageway a respectable distance and rounded a corner. Facing the exit, she mentally ran through her mental map once more. It wouldn’t do to take a wrong turn now. Her wrist comm chimed again and this time she answered to tell Anakin she was about to blow the generator for real this time. 

“Ahsoka!”

It wasn’t Anakin’s voice. It was Rex. For some strange reason, her stomach bottomed out when she considered that if things didn’t go the way she thought they would - this would be her last conversation with him. She wasn’t afraid to die. She never had been. So why was she feeling suddenly reluctant to push the button?

“I’m here, Rex,” she answered him.

“What the hell are you doing? Do _not_ detonate those charges while you’re still inside those tunnels!”

“If I don’t, we’re going to lose half our men taking this factory. I’m not going to sacrifice them when we don’t have to. I can make it out. They’re all set now. Stand by.”

“Wait. _Please_.”

She had never heard him like this. His voice sounded strangled with emotion. But she knew how much he loved his men. And even if he spouted the nonsense that he had been indoctrinated in since birth - that it was the clone’s purpose and duty to fight and die if need be for their cause - she knew that he believed the lives of his men were just as valuable as their Jedi superiors. As did she. And that’s why she was doing this. If this really was her last mission, saving their lives would make it a resounding success in her book. 

But there was so much that was left unsaid. Undone. She couldn’t think about that now. She needed to do this...now.

“I’ll see you soon,” she said.

“Ahsoka --”

“I love you, Rex,” she whispered, then closed the channel.

Taking a deep breath, she pressed the button. Around the corner and down the passage all the way to the generator room, her charges blew simultaneously. She was already sprinting when a larger secondary explosion shook the earth around her. The power generator had blown. 

Channeling the Force around her, she poured on as much speed as she could. There were only four turns she needed to make before she would reach the exit. She made it past the first three without incident. But the explosion had definitely weakened the structural integrity of the tunnel system. Dust and rocks broke free from the walls around her. A few times she had to jump over some fallen debris. 

When she had almost reached her fourth and final turn, about fifty meters from the entrance, one of the structural supports snapped ahead of her. Dropping her lightsaber, she pushed with the Force, attempting to keep the rock and soil from coming down in front of her. The effort slowed her momentum and she nearly stumbled. Behind her, she heard a portion of the tunnel collapse. 

Still running toward the section of tunnel that was caving in, she saw a white light bouncing off the walls in front of her, but she couldn’t make sense of it. She wasn’t going to make it, she realized. The metal support was bending under the weight of its load, shrieking in protest as she lost her hold on the boulders. She slowed, caught between her forward momentum and an instinct that told her to turn back before she was crushed.

Then a bright light blinded her as a trooper came charging around the turn and barrelled into her, knocking her backwards, just as the boulders came down in the space she had previously occupied. She hit the ground with enough force to knock the wind out of her lungs - or maybe that had been the pauldron that connected with her solar plexus. The trooper’s weight on her was lifted in the next instant, allowing her to fill her lungs once more.

She gasped for breath and opened her eyes, finding herself staring up into the face of a Rishi Eel with two red eyes. Fives was still shielding her, his hands braced on either side of her head. Dust and smaller rocks still rained down around them, some of them bouncing off his plastoid armor - but for the moment, the supports in this section of tunnel were holding. She could feel the vibrations in her montrals as more sections of tunnel collapsed ahead of them, cutting off their escape. 

In a few moments, the mountain grew quiet and the rocks stopped falling. The dust was still settling, but it seemed they were out of danger for the moment. Only when he was sure that nothing else was going to fall on them, did Fives move. 

“You alright, Commander?” he asked, reaching out to pull her up to a sitting position.

“I’m fine,” she replied, momentarily too relieved to be angry at him disobeying a direct order.

“We’re okay, Echo,” Fives said, switching the internal comm on his helmet to broadcasting mode. 

Ahsoka made a mental note to figure out everything that those helmets could do when they got out of here. 

“Is Commander Tano with you?” he asked.

“Yeah, I got to her just in time. We’re trapped though. Parts of the tunnel have collapsed on either side of us and we’re not close enough to any junctions to try and find another way out. Looks like you’re going to have to get the General to dig us out.”

“How far in are you?”

“At the first left turn - forty-seven meters from the entrance.”

“Okay, I’ll let him know and figure out how to get some equipment up here. Don’t try to move any debris on your own before he gets here - that could cause another cave-in.”

“Copy that.”

“I’m glad you’re both okay,” Echo added quietly.

“Me too, brother. Now get going.”

Ahsoka pressed her back against the wall and closed her eyes. They were alive and they had air for the time being. They just needed to hold out for a few hours until Anakin could get to them. She was struck by the irony that, despite the ease of the first part of their mission, it had still ended up shockingly similar to the time she and Barriss had attempted the same exact thing in the second battle of Geonosis. After this, she was swearing off underground tunnels for a while. 

“Here, drink this,” Fives broke into her thoughts as he settled next to her, handing her his canteen.

She accepted it, swallowing just enough to wet her dusty throat. They might need to conserve this for later in case it took longer to get them out, but she suspected they would run out of air long before they succumbed to thirst. But if she knew her Master - and she did - he’d have this mountain moved off them one way or another by the time the sun hit its apex. She turned her head and pressed a montral to the wall, trying to detect the sound of artillery fire. But she could no longer hear it. Hopefully, they had managed to keep most of the droids bottled up inside to be crushed, and dealt with the ones who had escaped the mountain’s collapse.

“Are you mad at me?” her companion asked, stretching his legs out in front of him.

“I’ve got too much else on my mind to be mad at you, Fives. Besides - I would probably be buried down here if you hadn’t come running in and tackled me.”

“I’m sorry I disobeyed your orders, sir,” he said, sounding genuinely contrite. “It’s not because I don’t respect you. It’s not even because I think you made the wrong call by going in by yourself. I just couldn’t leave you down here alone.”

She smiled and lifted her chin to stare up at him, “Better be careful, Fives. That sounds an awful lot like attachment.”

“Yeah, well - I’m not a Jedi.”

“True. But you disobeyed orders and put your sentiments above the mission.”

“I wouldn’t leave a brother behind - so I couldn’t leave my sister behind either.”

 _Sister_. That was the word Rex had used to describe how the other men saw her. It was strange to have that confirmed by one of them personally, though. A realization suddenly dawned on her - that this section of tunnel they were in was exactly the same place that Rex had found her last night. 

“Rex said that’s how you guys felt about me,” she replied. “I admit, Jedi or not - I feel the same way about you. Don’t tell anyone though.”

Fives chuckled, “Not a word.”

“As if. If that particular revelation had been a juicy piece of gossip, you’d have it spread around the legion in a mynock minute,” she teased.

“Not true!” he protested. “I didn’t tell anyone what Echo and I heard last night, did I? And it doesn’t get much juicier than that.”

Ahsoka pondered if it was wise to follow him down this trail, especially since she didn’t know exactly what Rex had said to him. But it was true, he _hadn’t_ told anyone.

“Yet,” she added aloud.

“And I’m not going to,” he promised. “And not just because Rex would rearrange my face if I did.”

She laughed, “Did he tell you what happened?”

“No. Well, just that it didn’t happen the way you made it _sound_ like it happened,” he clarified.

 _Should she tell him?_ she wondered. Fives was notorious at being a bragger and a shameless gossip, but he was also loyal and he seemed to care about her - enough to run back into this death trap for her, anyway. What’s more, now that she had a chance to sleep on it, the events of the previous night didn’t seem quite so mortifying. She couldn’t believe she was actually considering telling him all the things she had been terrified he would find out the night before. But she had a suspicion that her comment would niggle him if left unclarified, and his imagination was probably conjuring up all sorts of explanations that were completely off base. The truth wasn’t all that bad, as Rex had pointed out last night. 

“Look, I’ll tell you what really happened,” she said. “Only because I know you’re probably dying of curiosity.”

“Right now, I’m dying from lack of oxygen,” he said.

“Please. We have hours of air left,” she pointed out. 

“And it might take hours for them to reach us.”

“Point conceded. I guess we better stop talking and conserve our oxygen then,” she admitted.

She drew her knees up to sit cross-legged next to him, brushing against the outside of his cuisse. If it had been Rex, the contact would have thrilled her. But with Fives, it just gave her a feeling of comfortable companionship. She liked Fives, despite his penchant for getting into trouble and driving the officers crazy - or perhaps _because_ of those traits. Also, the combination of his haircut, goatee, and tattoo set him apart in her eyes as exceptionally handsome among an army of brothers with the same pleasing face. And yet, she wasn’t attracted to him in the same way that she was to Rex. When she looked at him, she didn’t see Rex’ face, she just saw Fives - handsome, boyishly charming, and a walking disaster. 

Settling into a state of meditation, she slowed her heart and breathing. When Fives spoke next, she wasn’t sure how much time had passed, a couple minutes - five, ten? But he suddenly yanked the helmet off his head and turned to stare at her, his eyebrows drawn together in what looked almost an expression of pain.

“Okay, tell me everything,” he pleaded.

She couldn’t help the little giggle that bubbled up. He was hopeless. 

“Okay, but just so you know - I’m only telling you this so your imagination doesn’t run wild.”

“Too late for that," he said, setting his helmet down and aiming it at them so they could see each other better. 

“When we were leaving last night, I was in the back behind Rex. I stopped to look at some bioluminescent fungus and let everyone else get far ahead. It was dark and I backed up against a support beam,” there was no way in hell she was going to tell him about the spider. “It snagged my top and ripped it...as in, ripped it completely off.”

She paused to gauge his reaction. He was watching her with mirth in his eyes and a little smirk, but he didn’t have a snide comment for her, so she continued.

“I didn’t really know what to do. It wasn’t as if I could call them back, ‘Hey Rex, do you mind coming back here and shining a light on me so I can try and figure out how to cover myself back up?’ Not likely. So, I used my lightsaber for light and tried to figure out how to fix my top.”

“How’d that go?” he asked.

“Not great. Rex went back in and found me like that - I _was_ covering the essentials with my arms.” _Apparently not very well, but that’s need-to-know and you don’t qualify._ “So he just took some of his armor off and handed me his undershirt. And then we put his armor back on and left. There. That’s it. That’s the story.”

“ _‘We’_ put his armor back on?” Fives pointed out.

 _Damn, I didn’t realize I said ‘we’. He’s too observant for his own good._ “I just helped attach one or two pieces,” she admitted casually. “But that was all that happened. See, not that great of a story after all, huh?”

“Not to be crude, but you and Captain Rex alone together in a dark tunnel - both shirtless - has more appeal than some of the raunchiest tales that come out of 79’s...even if absolutely nothing happened. Mainly because he’s so straight laced, he wouldn’t be caught dead in a compromising situation with a woman, much less his _commanding officer_.”

Ahsoka chewed on that for a moment. It wasn’t just that Fives had immediately honed in on the one moment in her encounter with Rex that had been the most intimate, except for maybe when she hugged him, but also what he was insinuating about Rex’ love life. She wondered if the Captain was just as unfamiliar with all these feelings and emotions as she was. But she couldn’t ask Fives that, could she?

“What do you mean, ‘compromising situation’?” she ventured.

“I mean anything. He doesn’t pick up women when he goes out. He doesn’t have any trysts or come back after curfew because he was at someone’s place. I’ve never even seen him kiss a girl before.”

“Have _you_ kissed a girl before?” Ahsoka asked, then regretted it as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

_How is that any of my business?_

“I’m sorry, Fives. I shouldn’t have asked that,” she rushed to say. 

His bronze cheeks flushed a little, but he looked down at her with a little smirk, and shook his head, “It’s okay. And yeah, I’ve kissed women before. We have a life outside of the barracks, you know.”

“I know, it’s just that - I guess I rarely think of you guys in that way. Going out drinking, partying, kissing girls, other things…” she trailed off as she thought back to what she had imagined doing with Rex last night, feeling her lekku warm at the thought. “All the stuff that normal young people do.”

“Well, we’re not like you Jedi. We don’t take any vows of celibacy,” he said.

“Actually, Jedi don’t take vows of celibacy,” she informed him. “We’re just forbidden from having attachments.”

He frowned at her, “So - Jedi can have sex, but they just can’t be emotionally attached to the person they’re having sex with?”

When he said it that way, it sounded awful - but he was right.

“Um...yes?” she said, weakly. “But most everyone has those natural urges, right? The Jedi Order doesn’t force us to have to resist those.”

“But they expect you to resist the urge to be selfish, or angry, or ambitious. I mean, I don’t understand a lot about Jedi, but Shaak Ti was willing to answer questions that we asked. If you have to deny those emotions, which I would consider ‘natural urges’, because they lead to the Dark Side - why aren’t you made to deny your sexual urges? It’s kind of natural for sex to lead to attachment or love, don’t you think?”

“I think that you probably shouldn’t be having sex at all, _unless_ you already feel love for that person - so yes.”

Fives looked down at her and quirked an eyebrow, “So then you don’t think that Jedi should be allowed to have sex, period?”

She sighed, “I honestly don’t know what to think. I know what we’re taught about attachment, and I do understand the logic. But lately, it’s been so hard for me. I _want_ to know what it’s like to be with someone - but I know that I could never just be that intimate with a person that I didn’t care about. How do you trust someone enough to be that vulnerable with them if you don’t love them? But just because that’s the way I feel, doesn’t mean I can determine what is right for every other Jedi. Maybe some people can just enjoy the act of sex without caring for the other person.” 

She paused, debating whether to ask him the next question that popped into her brain. Might as well, she’d come this far.

“Have you ever...you know?”

Fives drew his knees up and rested his forearms on them, polishing a smudge on his hand guard with gloved fingers, “Yeah - I have.”

“Did you know the person?”

“Not really. I’ve hooked up a few times, but it’s always just been girls who come to 79’s with the express purpose of getting some action with clones. They aren’t looking for a relationship - and we’re not allowed to have relationships. But I have to admit, it’s hard not to want more than just sex for the sake of sex. I would at least like the _option_ of having a girlfriend or a wife. When we win this war for the Republic, are we going to get a chance to retire and settle down with someone for whatever’s left of our half-lives?”

By the time he was done talking, Ahsoka could feel the pain and bitterness radiating off him. The pitch of his voice had risen and his hands were clenched into fists. She stared up at him, her heart breaking for him and all the millions of men who must feel the same. The Jedi and clones were foils of each other, she realized. Their lives were not their own. Well, that wasn’t completely true - she could at least choose to leave the Jedi Order if she wanted to - even if she didn’t have anywhere else to go.

He didn’t have a choice at all. The Republic had paid for a lifetime of service from him...or well, _someone_ had paid for it, anyway. It was almost as if he were a...she couldn’t quite bring herself to say the word _slave_ , because if she did, she knew the foundations of her whole world would crumble. She wasn’t ready to face that question yet. But it must be something that Fives and his brothers wrestled with all the time. Torn between their conditioned loyalty to the Republic and the innate desire to control their own lives. 

_Did Rex feel the same?_ she wondered. She’d have to ask him that - if they ever got out of here.

She reached up and put a small hand on Fives’ arm, where the gap in his shoulder and upper arm plates let her touch his blacks. She wasn’t skilled enough to draw out his emotions or relax him the way Master Obi-Wan could, but she could give him a little nudge with the Force to let him feel her empathy.

His eyes widened at the contact, but when he looked down at her, she could tell he understood what she was trying to tell him. He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his brown eyes. 

“So, who is it that you’re sweet on, Commander?” he asked suddenly, as if trying to change the subject.

She startled, “I never said I was sweet on anyone.”

“Oh, I just assumed since you said _lately_ you’d been struggling with those feelings - wanting to know what it was like and all that. I guess it’s normal for a kid...er...young woman, your age to want to experiment in general.”

She was torn between being happy that he had recognized her as a ‘young woman’ and panicked that he might be sniffing close to the truth. She told him about her and Rex specifically so that he would _not_ think there was anything going on there. But she didn’t want to tell a bold faced lie either. She would take the out he gave her and just agree that she was interested in general terms.

“Yeah. I guess I’m just curious. But like I said, it would be impossible for me to try anything like that without being attached to someone first. And since that’s forbidden - I guess I’m just going to have to get used to disappointment. Still, it’d be nice to at least know what it’s like to be kissed,” she mused.

“I’ll tell you what,” Fives said, a conspiratorial grin hitching up one corner of his mouth. “If things go wrong and it doesn’t look like we’re going to make it out of this - I’ll kiss you before we die.”

_Okay, that backfired in the most spectacular way imaginable. Fives, I love you and you’re the best big brother a girl could ask for - but you are not the clone I’m looking for._

She gave him a little laugh to cover her feelings, hoping it didn’t sound as nervous to him as it did in her own ears, “Thanks, Fives. That’s sweet. But you’re--”

“Not Rex?” he interrupted her.

Her eyes shot wide, “What?!”

He put his hands up in a placating gesture, “Don’t bisect me.”

“Why would you say that?” she asked, cringing at how cagey her tone was.

“It was just a hunch. It doesn’t go unnoticed that you like spending time with us boys, but we all know Rex is your favorite. You two have been close since as long as I’ve been around. But after last night’s little revelation, I wondered if maybe there was something more to it.”

“I told you. Nothing happened last night, Fives,” she insisted.

“I’m not saying you two did anything against regs - Rex would never. But something changed last night between you two - I could tell by what he said last night and by the way you were looking at him this morning at the briefing.”

“Oh no, no, no. Fives, this is _not_ good. If you are clever enough to put that together, Anakin could figure it out too.”

“Really? You’re lumping me in with General Oblivious? Thanks for that,” he complained, then grimaced. “Don’t tell him I said that.”

“I won’t, I won’t,” she waved her hand dismissively. She had bigger problems. “Do you think the other clones suspect anything?”

“I don’t know. Who cares? What are they going to do? Report you for having a crush on the Captain? It’s not a crime, sir.”

“But I’m not supposed to have feelings for him like that. For anyone. And it could get him into trouble. What if he was reassigned because of me?”

Fives rolled his eyes, and for a tick he looked just like Commander Wolffe.

“First of all, you haven’t actually done anything, right? No kissing or non-regulation touching?”

“No. WelI, I did hug him - briefly. Is that against regulations?”

“I don’t think so, but Echo would know for sure; he has all that stuff memorized. Wait, when did you hug him?”

“Last night.”

“When you were half-naked?!” he exclaimed, his eyebrows shooting up.

“No! Not when we were half-naked! Well, actually - I guess _he_ was still half-naked. But it was after I put his shirt on. I just gave him a quick hug as a way to say ‘thank you for protecting my modesty and sparing me from humiliation’. You know? Don’t look at me like that! It was innocent!”

“Sure it was. You didn’t enjoy it even a little,” he deadpanned.

“I...no...he,” she stuttered, starting to feel a rising sense of panic by how quickly this once deep, thoughtful, conversation was unravelling. “Fine. Yes! It was nice. But if you tell anyone --”

“Yeah, I know. You’ll kick my ass. Take a number and get in line. There won’t be anything left after Rex is through with me, anyway. Look - regardless of whether or not you liked it - they aren’t going to reassign Rex because an excitable fifteen-year-old padawan gave him a hug. He’s way too valuable to the General and the five-oh-first. And even if--”

He stopped talking when his comm chirped again.

“Fives, Commander Tano?” Echo’s voice crackled over the comm.

“We’re still here, Echo. Give us some good news.”

Captain Rex is finishing up with the last of the tinnies in front. It’s just mopping up now. The General is on his way to help dig you out. Just hold tight.”

“Affirmative,” Fives paused, then asked in a hushed voice, “Hey Echo, are you alone right now?”

“Yeeeees,” the soft-spoken clone said hesitantly. “Why?”

“Is it against regs for a commanding officer and a clone to hug, if it’s purely platonic?”

Ahsoka was gesturing furiously for him to stop talking, but he continued, “Just asking for a friend.”

“Fives, what are you two _doing_ in there?”

“No, not…” he paused, as if considering something. “It’s not like that. She was scared, I was comforting her, that’s it. I just don’t want to get reassigned if anyone found out,” he winked at Ahsoka, who was pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration.

“Oh. No, it’s not a punishable offense. Excessive shows of affection between clones and the higher ups is frowned upon, but as long as you’re just embracing her in a respectful manner, you wouldn’t have to worry about it.”

“Copy. Let us know when Skywalker gets close.”

“Will do,” Echo replied. 

The communication went silent and Ahsoka sucked in a breath, “Are you crazy? Why would you ask him that now?”

“Relax. This way, he doesn’t know that you hugged Rex, but we have an answer to our question.”

“I could have gotten an answer to that question the moment I had a datapad in my hand. Now, Echo thinks we were hugging!”

“ _Gasp_. Wouldn’t that just be the end of the universe as we know it,” he said sarcastically.

“And he also thinks that I’m trapped in here, scared of dying - which I am not.”

“You’re not scared of dying at all? If this ceiling caved in on us right now and killed us, you wouldn’t have a single regret? Nothing you wanted to say or do before you became one with the Force?”

He was back to being serious again, so Ahsoka paused to give him a serious answer. 

“Yes, there are plenty of things that I want to do with my life. But if it’s my time, then it’s my time. I won’t let myself be burdened by all the things left unsaid or undone.”

“Not even to tell Rex that you love him?”

“I already did, actually,” she whispered. “Right before I detonated the charges.”

He blinked, “You did?”

“I had forgotten about it until you said that. I guess he’s going to know now, one way or the other.”

“How did you say it?” he asked.

“The usual way - ‘I love you, Rex’.”

“Yeah, but was it obvious you were confessing romantic love?”

“Um...well, I guess not.”

“Then you’re fine. It’s not like he doesn’t know you love him already.”

“You think so?” 

“Sure. Look, Rex is a really smart guy - except when it comes to romantic stuff. He’s an idiot when it comes to that. I once watched a Twi-lek flirt with him for a solid thirty minutes and he was completely clueless that she liked him.”

“Are you sure he wasn’t just playing dumb?”

“Well, if he was, the performance was convincing. And he can’t act for shit - it’s too close to lying.”

Ahsoka laughed, “I haven’t met a clone yet that was good at lying.”

“I’ve been known to come up with some creative stories, now and then,” Fives protested, as if the ability to deceive was something to aspire to. 

“Yeah, but it only works if no one can see your expression. You have a terrible sabacc face.”

He looked genuinely hurt by that, “I’m the best sabacc player in the legion.”

“That’s only because you haven’t played me yet,” she teased.

“Oh no. I know better than to play with a Jedi - you lot cheat.”

“I would never,” she protested.

“And that’s why Rex banned you from playing in the barracks, hmm?

“He banned me from playing in the barracks because we couldn’t bet money, so we had to stick to things like chores and responsibilities. The thing is, I always won. Anakin caught wind of it and made us stop because he caught Kix filing a mission report for me one time.”

“Where did you even learn sabacc in the first place?” Fives asked, chuckling. “Not from us.”

“No, Rex wouldn’t let anyone teach me. But I have my ways. I just needed to find a clone who wasn’t in the 501st and outranked him.”

Fives gave her a puzzled look, “Surely not Cody.”

“Are you kidding? Do you think the Marshall Commander has the time or inclination to teach a padawan sabacc? Besides, he would never countermand Rex.”

“So who?”

Ahsoka let a sly smile stretch her lips, “Wolffe.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope.”

“Why would Wolffe teach you sabacc?”

“Well, more like he just let me observe and join in every once in a while.”

“And he didn’t think it was weird that you were learning from them and not any of the 501st boys.”

“Oh, he knew exactly why I had to come to him. He even refused me at first. But then I suggested in front of the Wolfpack that he was scared of Rex and he changed his tune pretty quickly.”

“You...Ahsoka Tano...blackmailed Commander karking Wolffe? I’m...I don’t even know what to say to that.”

“That would be a first,” she teased.

“I’m impressed,” he conceded. “I might have to sneak off somewhere and play you now - just to see if you’re half as good as your boasting.”

“Just name the time and place” she challenged. 

Ahsoka’s commlink suddenly chirped and she answered, “Master?”

“Ahsoka, are you okay?” came Anakin’s worried voice.

“We’re both fine. I’m surprised it took you so long to contact me though.”

“Well I _tried_ to contact you when Echo first told me your suicidal plan, but you didn’t answer. I got a little distracted and then I got shot in the arm, frying my commlink. I’m using Echo’s right now.”

“Are you hurt?” Ahsoka asked, feeling terrible that she had caused him enough worry in the middle of battle to make him lose his focus.

“No - it’s just a minor blaster burn. Listen, I’m going to start moving some rocks on this end. Contact me right away if it starts causing things to shift where you are.”

“Okay Master, I’ll be ready to help you lift when you get closer.”

“Alright. I’m going to try to use the debris to keep the tunnel braced, so you and Fives will probably have to crawl out.”

“We’ll manage,” Fives said, leaning toward her so Anakin could hear him.

“Alright, stand by.”

The comm went silent and Ahsoka could feel her Master’s presence in the Force swelling with power. There was a lot of debris to move and just after a battle, it was going to be taxing - even for him. She gathered herself and prepared to catch anything that might fall as a result of his efforts, even though he was still a way off. Even Fives fell silent and watchful, fitting his helmet back on and observing the ceiling above them. 

Anakin checked in regularly, updating them on his progress. For once, he exercised patience and took his time reaching them, carefully shifting some rocks and propping others up to the sides to retain the structural integrity. There were several pockets between them and Anakin that had not collapsed, and he used those to stack debris he had cleared, instead of pushing it all the way back to the entrance of the tunnel. Echo and a squad of men that Rex had diverted helped him clear the smaller stones.

When he got halfway to her, he instructed her how to start clearing from her end. She and Fives set to work, carefully dislodging and shifting the heavy stones. Ahsoka was relieved to find her lightsaber amidst the rubble, impressed that it had not been damaged by the crushing weight. She got the hang stacking the rocks to the side quickly, but it was gruelling work, and very slow. By the end of it, they were running out of air. Fives was trying to find a way to share his life support with her since she couldn’t fit his helmet over her head, but she insisted that he use it. If it came to it, she could go into a trance and slow her breathing and heart rate until Anakin reached them. It took over three hours before she was close enough to hear Anakin’s voice without the comm, and a while more before he finally punched through to her. 

She couldn’t recall ever being happier to see him - though there was no shortage of near-death experiences he had saved her from. But she was so exhausted, and she could barely breathe. 

“Hey, Snips. You don’t look so good,” his hand grasped hers, squeezing her fingers reassuringly. 

All she could do was nod weakly. 

“Hang on just a little longer, you’ll be breathing fresh air in no time.”

He had to crawl out backwards until he made it to an un-collapsed section of the passageways large enough for him to sit up in. He used the Force to help pull her along. Further down the smaller tunnel, Echo shouted for a status update. 

Anakin filled him in and then tied a line under Ahsoka’s armpits, and pushed the other end to where Echo was holed up in the next pocket. Echo pulled her to him while Anakin helped Fives. Ahsoka thought she heard him mutter something about being stuck by his pauldrons, but she was so out of it, she wasn’t sure if she had just imagined that. Once Echo had reeled her into his space, he rolled her onto her back and drew her partially into his lap. 

“Are you okay, Commander?” he asked gently. 

“Yeah, Echo, I’m fine. Just hard to breathe,” she whispered, drawing in as much air as she could.

“Kix will get you sorted just as soon as you’re out.”

Ashoka being too weak to use the Force to throw the rope down the tunnel to the next man, Echo untied her and left it for Anakin’s use. Instead, the ARC trooper used his ascension line and shot it down the tunnel. He tied it to her and set her down in front of the next narrow section. Someone at the other end grabbed the line and started towing her in. In a few minutes, Ahsoka could see the light of day through her bleary vision. The air became less stifling and she finally started to feel like she was getting enough oxygen. 

When she was finally pulled out of the tunnel, the light was so blinding, she couldn’t tell who picked her up and carried her to the edge of the small plateau outside the entrance. Her eyes scrunched closed, she was dimly aware that she had been gently placed on the ground. 

“Commander, can you hear me?” someone - Kix she suspected - asked.

“Yes,” she answered quietly. 

“How does your head feel?” he asked.

“A little fuzzy.”

“I’m going to give you a mask to help you breathe for a few minutes, okay?”

She nodded.

“Rex, hold this on her face while I turn her on her side to listen to her lungs.”

Ahsoka’s eyes snapped open, pain stabbing through her already dizzy head. But she forced her eyes to focus on him. _His_ face leaning over her, shifting forward to cast a shadow over her to shield her eyes from the light. _His_ hand cradling her lekku as he gently pressed the mask over her nose and mouth and held it there, his fingers grazing her cheek. _His_ voice speaking for the first time, letting her know this was not some sort of oxygen-deprived hallucination.

“No more droid factory demolitions involving tunnels for you,” he teased. 

“Seriously,” she replied, her voice muffled by the mask. “I’m over it. You all done mopping up droids?”

“Yeah, it didn’t take long to take out the stragglers.”

“Especially not the way you were fighting,” Kix said under his breath.

She didn’t see the glare that Rex shot him, but she could feel his ire radiating off him in waves, then receding all at once into something closer to the calm, steady aura he usually exuded. Rex felt like the color blue to her, and not just because he used it to decal his armor. He was like the ocean - constant and powerful - capable of lulling her one moment and conjuring up a violent storm the next. He was dangerous to anyone who took him for granted, but a reassuring and loyal friend to those whom he trusted. 

“Cap just wanted to send as many men as we could to help get you and Fives out of there,” Kix clarified. “Made short work of those clankas. Could you turn her onto her back again?”

Ahsoka smiled as Rex helped her return to her back, still keeping a hand beneath her head, _I bet he did._

“How is Fives?” Rex asked.

She put her hand on top of his fingers, gently pulling them and the mask away from her face, “I can breathe much better now...thank you. Fives is okay. He had life support, so the low oxygen levels shouldn’t have bothered him at all.”

As if on cue, disgruntled muttering drew their attention to the mouth of the tunnels.

“Well it’s not exactly all that great for me staring as your shebs the whole way either!” Echo said from behind Fives, who was army crawling out the entrance with his pauldrons held out in front of him.

“Staring at my shebs is a privilege,” Fives shot back, standing up and twisting around as if to get a better look at his own rear. “Look at that, man. That’s the Republic’s ass.”

Rex rolled his eyes, “Yep. He’s fine.”

“We’re clones, we all have the same ass!” Echo protested.

“No way. You do like half as many squats as I do.”

“Yeah, no. I’ve seen more of your shebs in the sanistream room than I ever cared to see, and it ain’t any different from mine.”

“Ahsoka, whose ass is better? Mine or Ec-----oh, hi Captain. Didn’t think you’d be back already.”

“Clearly,” Rex deadpanned.

Echo paused behind where Fives had stopped short, clearly dismayed for letting his friend draw him into this ridiculous conversation. Ahsoka stifled a giggle as she looked between Rex’s scowling face and Fives and Echo’s sheepish expressions.

“Boys, I’m gonna settle this debate right now,” said Anakin, popping up behind them and throwing an arm over both of their shoulders. “You’re both fine specimens, to be sure - but I have it on good authority that I’ve got the best butt this side of wild space.”

“Who told you that?” Fives asked immediately.

As if not anticipating a follow-up question, Anakin turned a bit red before recovering.

“That’s classified,” he tsked, but there was an edge in his voice that said the conversation was _closed_.

Now Ahsoka was curious too, but she knew better than to voice her question aloud. She glanced at Kix, who was taking her thermal reading and biting his lip hard to keep from snickering. Rex had no idea what to do with this information either, but he could see Fives had hit on something and needed to be put to work before his damned curiosity got him into trouble. Sliding his hand from beneath her head, he gave her shoulder a little squeeze before rising to his feet. 

“Since you two are obviously none the worse for wear,” he growled, pointing at Fives and Echo, you can get _all_ this gear back down the trail to the rest of the men. Appo, take everybody else down and make sure that the cannon crew didn’t have any issues getting those guns back to camp.”

After a chorus of “yessirs”, he turned back to Kix, “Is the Commander okay to move?”

“Yes, but she’s exhausted. She’ll need some help getting down the trail,” he replied.

“I will take her,” Anakin replied.

“With all due respect, sir, you’re not in much better shape. You taxed yourself quite a bit moving all those boulders.”

I appreciate the concern, Kix. But I’m fine,” the Jedi protested, but Ahsoka could tell he was tired.

“Master, it’s okay. No one has to carry me, I’m capable of walking as long as we take it slow,” she said, getting to her feet to prove she wasn’t all talk. “It would be wise to buddy up with one of the clones though.”

“They’re right, sir. You said yourself the path is treacherous, and you need to conserve your strength,” Rex added.

Fives stepped over and shouldered Kix’ medical ruck, “I can take this for you, if you want to help make sure the General gets down alright.”

“Thanks, Fives," he said, giving him a quizzical look, obviously trying to figure out why he was being so helpful.

Ahsoka glanced at the ARC trooper, who gave her an almost imperceptible nod beneath his helmet before grabbing some more gear and heading down with the others. She swore she would never badmouth Fives again after this.

“Okay, fine. We’ll go down first so we can help if you have any trouble,” Anakin suggested.

“Lead on, sir,” Kix said, following the Jedi to the trailhead.

“Guess you’re with me,” Rex said from behind her, his gravelly voice filtered through the helmet that he had returned to his head.

And there were those damned butterflies in her stomach again.

She threw a grin over her shoulder at him, “Guess so. Good thing we’re experts at this thing. If we can navigate it in the dark, this will be easy.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, ushering her in front of him. “You first.”

She thought for a second that his tone seemed clipped, but decided it must have been her imagination. She started down the trail, catching up to Kix quickly. It seemed Anakin was setting a very slow pace, but she suspected that was more for her benefit than for his. They continued down with very little conversation between the four of them. 

When they reached the steep part of the trail that Rex had slipped on the night before, the Captain had taken her hands and lowered her down to Kix. That was the highlight of the entire descent, and not long after that, they had reached the bottom. Rex departed almost immediately to oversee the setting up of camp. 

Anakin informed her that _The Resolute_ \- which had been delivering food and medical supplies two systems over while they were taking care of the droid factory - had been unexpectedly delayed due to some hiccup with the navigation system, so they had to spend one more night here while it was repaired. Ahsoka wasn’t complaining. She’d had _a day_ , and she was looking forward to a peaceful afternoon and evening without the anticipation of a looming battle. Not that it was nerves that had kept her up the previous evening. 

She glanced at where Rex was shouting at some clones about the placements of AT-TE’s, sounding a little more perturbed than usual. She wondered what had gotten under his skin, and if she had anything to do with it. 

“Did you hear me, Snips?” her Master’s voice broke into her thoughts.

“What? I’m sorry, Master. I guess I’m just a bit tired.”

“That’s why I just told you to go get some rest,” he said, smirking at her.

“I will. I need to eat something first, though.”

“Okay. Hey, Ahsoka?”

She looked up at him, raising her brow markings, “Yes?”

“What you did today...I was angry about it at first; I thought you were being reckless. But I talked with Echo while we were digging you out, and I realized you were really just being selfless. You knew the odds. You weighed the cost. And you chose to take a risk to save as many lives as possible, for the good of the mission and for the good of the men. And I’m proud of you for that.”

“Just following your teachings, Master. You would have done the same thing,” she replied, smiling at him.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. But do me a favor, next time. Don’t get yourself buried alive again.”

“If Rex has his way, there won’t be a next time,” Ahsoka laughed. “He says I’m not allowed near droid factories with tunnels anymore.”

“He’s got a point,” Anakin conceded. “Seems like things never go according to plan when I send you underground...not that it’s a poor reflection of your abilities. Maybe it would be better not to tempt fate a third time, though.”

She shrugged.

“Okay, go get some food and then rest up. If the repairs stay on schedule, _The Resolute_ should be here at 0800 to pick us up. You’ve got down time until then - providing the Seppies don’t drop in to find out why they lost contact with the droid factory - so spend it how you like. Just make sure you take it easy.”

“Yes, Master. And thank you for what you said. I’m glad you’re not angry at me.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay, Snips.”

“Me too,” she replied, giving him one more lopsided smile before heading out to find some food.

In the field, most of the men carried their food on them. But since they were staying longer than they had anticipated, the reserve rations needed to be broken into. She made her way to the rear of the camp where the AT-LE’s were standing like sentinels. Some crates were stacked off to the side. She passed over some ammunition containers and located one marked for foodstuffs. She punched in the release code and tried to open the container, but the latching mechanism caught, even though it was unlocked. She attempted to close it again and retry the combination, but it wouldn’t go back down either. Cursing under her breath, she tried to slip her fingers in the gap and pry it open. That failing, she attempted to use the Force to jimmy the lock, but she was not as good as Master Kenobi at the internal workings of mechanical objects - and she was so exhausted and hungry, she had a difficult time concentrating on controlling the flow of the energy around her.

“Let me,” someone said, breaking her focus.

Irritated as much by the stubborn lock as her own inattentiveness that allowed someone to come up behind her unawares, she backed up with a huff, “Be my guest.”

She turned to find Fives stepping around her purposefully, stalking with deadly intent toward his next target - the container that was standing between him and his next meal. With ruthless efficiency, he slammed his elbow guard into the lid of the container. The catch made a screech of protest, but it gave under the weight of the blow. Punching in the combination once more, Fives lifted the lid with such force, that it flew back and bounced on its hinges. He took a step to the side and gestured dramatically to the open container, giving her a little mocking bow.

“Your afternoon repast, my lady.”

She smirked at him and curtsied, wondering where he had even learned to speak that way, “Why thank you, good sir.

They both dug into the contents of the crate, looking for the most palatable of the ready-to-eat meals. Since her favorite was nowhere to be found, Ahsoka settled for a protein block and traded the grainy wafer that came with it for Fives’ veggie stick, knowing he preferred the more dense food, bland as it was. It made him feel more full, even if it tasted like tree bark.

They scarfed down their food where they stood, Ahsoka slightly more apathetic about it than Fives. He guzzled half a canteen of water to wash it down when he was finished, running his hand over his chin to make sure no crumbs lingered in his goatee. 

“Have you had a chance to talk to Cap yet?” he asked, and Ahsoka was grateful he had the sense to keep his voice low.

“No. He didn’t say much on the way down and he walked away as soon as we got into camp. I think he’s upset about something.”

“Yeah, I picked up on that too.”

“Do you think it’s because of what I said to him?”

“No. Why would he be upset about that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he thinks I’m getting too close to him, so he’s distancing himself?”

“He didn’t look like he was _distancing_ when he was kneeling over you, holding your head in his hands. I think it’s more likely he’s just upset about how close you came to dying today.”

“Maybe,” she said, uncertainty clouding her mind.

She was so tired and this was so confusing. She was beginning to understand more why the Jedi forbade attachment - it made people behave much more irrationally than they would otherwise. 

Fives put a hand in between her montrals and rubbed her head affectionately, “Don’t worry about it, sir. Just talk to him when you get the chance. You’ll work it out.”

At any other time, she would have been irritated at the somewhat demeaning gesture, but she knew that Fives was just trying to make her feel better, and she loved him for it. 

“You’re right,” she replied. “Thanks, Fives. And also - thank you for earlier.”

He winked, “I got your back, sister. I mean, sir,” he quickly corrected himself, realizing she hadn’t given him permission to address her with such familiarity. 

“It’s okay. I’d rather be a sister to you than a commanding officer anyway. When it’s down time, let’s just be like this.”

Fives grinned at her, “Sure thing. Alright, I’m gonna go catch up with the boys. Do you...wanna come with, or does the General have something for you to do?”

She shook her head, “I’ve got free time until they pick us up in the morning, so I guess I’ll go with you and wait for a chance to talk to Rex and see what’s eatin’ him.” 

“Alright, c’mon then. Maybe I can find a deck of sabacc cards somewhere,” he suggested, waggling his eyebrows.

She laughed and fell in step with him, “Okay, but you better get ready for me to spank ‘the Republic’s ass’ at cards.”

His eyebrows shot up a half a second before he threw his head back and _howled_ with laughter, “Oh, it’s on, sis. It is _on_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this one got a bit lengthy before I had a chance to have Ahsoka and Rex talk again - so I guess this is going to be a three chapter "short story". I know - me? Long winded? Shocker.
> 
> I kind of set this one up opposite of the last one. Chapter one was meant to be a humorous situation that sparked a deep conversation. This one began with deep thoughts and introspection, and after a healthy dose of excitement, ends up a lot more light-hearted...thank you, Fives - you make everything better. 
> 
> In case no one else got it - "that is the Republic's ass" is meant to be a pun for Captain America looking at his past self face down on the ground and quipping "that's America's ass"...because Fives would totally say that. 
> 
> Totally random thing that doesn't have any bearing on the story, whatsoever: I have no idea if Appo is actually the sergeant at this point. The first time I remember seeing him is in the Umbara arc. All I know is Denal was already killed by Cad Bane and I couldn't remember if there was another sergeant in between him and Appo. Anyone know?


	3. Window to Her Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex is struggling to understand why Ahsoka's near-death experience is affecting him as much as it is. After some introspection and a couple late-night conversations, he thinks he's figured it out. Ahsoka offers him another glimpse of the doubts troubling her own heart, and he advises her as best as he can. But just when Rex finally feels that he has a clear grasp on how he feels about his Togruta friend, she goes and does something that makes him question his sentiments all over again.

She was laughing from where she sat in a small circle with his brothers on the far side of the encampment. The carefree sound of her voice stretched his already frayed nerves. On the one hand, he was glad that she was okay and enjoying herself now. But did it not matter to her that she had almost _died_ hours before? Did she have no idea what it had done to him to think that they were having their last conversation over the comm? When she blurted out “I love you, Rex,” before cutting the connection, he had done the unthinkable and frozen on the battlefield. 

_His heart stopped for an instant, and he questioned whether he had heard her whispered words correctly over the din around him. And then the sound of multiple explosions from the interior of the mountain reached his ears, culminating in a crescendo that shook the ground beneath his feet. After that, he saw red._

_Fear, pain, and utter rage took him over. He had always been taught to be calm and collected in battle, never to let emotions take control. Emotions made you sloppy. Emotions made you weak. Emotions got more of your brothers killed. But this experience taught him that the opposite was true. His anger fueled him, somehow enhancing his skills. He landed every shot he made. Before he knew what had happened, he had taken out a company of battledroids by himself._

_Everything was a blur, and yet he was hyper aware of his surroundings. His natural instincts were sharper, and he put down every droid in his path with ruthless efficiency. But the trade-off was that his sense of self-preservation had plummeted. He was taking chances he never would have taken normally, breaking cover and throwing himself into the thick of the melee._

_The cannons had done their job and kept the majority of the battledroids bottled up near the mountain. Now all that was left was to take out the stragglers. That was his only focus, his only intent._

_An insistent voice broke through his concentration and years of conditioning helped bring him down from the wrathful high he found himself in - immediately responding to the call of the General he was tasked to serve. Taking cover, he replied to Skywalker - who was somehow patched into the clone’s intercom system. Was the General wearing someone’s helmet?_

_“Rex. There you are. I need you to take over command and finish taking down these droids. Ahsoka and Fives are trapped in the tunnels and I’m on my way to get them out.”_

She was alive?

_“Yessir,” he heard himself saying. “Consider it done.”_

_“If I’m not back by the time you’re finished, move the troops back to camp, then meet us at the tunnels.”_

_“Copy that,” he replied._

_He ought to feel overjoyed, but the anger was still there under the surface. He could still tap into it if he wanted to. And he did. There wasn’t much left of the Separatist forces, but Rex fought as if he was the only clone left on the field. The sooner these clankers were ground into the dust, the sooner he could get back to her. And then he was going to give her a piece of his mind._

But he never did. When he pulled her out of that tunnel hours later and scooped her little body into his arms, all he felt was relief. She needed some fresh air, but other than that, she seemed fine. She didn’t know she was in his arms at first. It wasn’t until Kix had said his name that her eyes had shot wide, the bright light reducing her pupils to pinpricks, making them seem bluer than blue. He had given her a little dry humor to make her smile, and it had worked. 

She was here. She was safe. There was no longer any reason to be mad. Was there?

And then there was Fives and Echo, completely uninjured thanks to her - cracking jokes as usual. Fives asking Ahsoka to judge between his and Echo’s asses dampened his mood a bit, but the horror on their faces when they realized who was in front of them was priceless. Still, as he watched her slowly gain her feet, as if moving too quickly would cause her to fall to her knees, those lingering thoughts came back to him. He had come so close to losing her. Too close.

He had avoided her for the whole day, keeping himself busy with mundane tasks to give himself an excuse not to have to interact with her. Now, listening to her peels of laughter echo through the camp, he once more struggled to tamp down his emotions. He didn’t understand why he was feeling this way. His brothers died in battle all the time. He never let himself grow numb to it, but he was accustomed to the idea that any moment in this war might be the last for him or any one of his men. The same should apply to Ahsoka and Skywalker. Yes, they were Jedi and Jedi were hard to kill - but they weren’t invincible. Did he just take it for granted that they would always be there? Why could he not bring himself to imagine a world without Ahsoka Tano in it? Why did that thought bring him such unbearable pain?

_“I love you, Rex.”_

That’s what she said. She loved him. After their conversation last night, it really shouldn’t have surprised him that she was attached to him. They were friends, after all. He briefly wondered if her words meant something a little more than chummy companionship. He shook his head at that thought. Even if she did mean something more, there was absolutely no version of their future where that would ever be a possibility for either of them. Besides, his feelings for her didn’t go deeper than the friendship between them. 

For one thing, she was still too young for him to entertain those thoughts. Granted, she was absolutely beautiful, no one would argue with that. There was a grace and loveliness in her features that was undeniably attractive. And those clear blue eyes of hers sometimes seemed to look right into his soul. Her unconditional devotion to everyone she met, including the clones, softened even the most battle-hardened warriors. Beyond that, she was a warrior in her own right, earning his respect and trust. 

Ahsoka Tano, even at fifteen years old, was someone to be admired and treasured. He didn’t desire her as a man desires a woman, but he desired to hold a special place in her heart nonetheless, and it pleased him that he did. She was his beloved commander and he was her faithful captain, and pity the fool who stood between them. 

_Kriff._

He wasn’t supposed to be attached to her like this. These feelings went beyond just plain devotion and bordered on possessiveness. She didn’t belong to him. She was a Jedi. He was a clone. If you wanted to get technical, _he_ belonged to her. Maybe that was part of the problem. For all their discussions of being more or less co-commanders on equal footing, they would never actually be equals. He was a human who had been bred for one purpose: to serve the Republic under the command of the Jedi. He had no choice in this, but if he did, he wouldn’t have chosen differently. 

He was a loyal soldier.

 _Your loyalty is to her,_ he argued with himself. _That’s why you can’t imagine a world without her. She has become the thing you’re fighting for._

That couldn’t be right, though. His loyalty was to the Republic - to their cause. His loyalty was to his brothers. His loyalty was to his General. 

_All true. And yet, you don’t dissolve into a blind rage when your brothers die or when the General does something that could get himself killed. That was purely for her. She is different. She is more to you._

He heard her raised voice again and something inside him shifted. He did love her. Maybe not the way she possibly felt about him, but it was a fierce and protective love. He would need to pay close attention to ensure it didn’t become a jealous love. She wasn’t his to possess and she never would be. All the same, she was over there having fun with Fives and the boys while he was over here brooding about her, and something about that did not sit well with him. There was a tightness in his chest - a feeling of being left out. But that was stupid; he was the one who had been avoiding her. He’d already wasted the entire afternoon that could have been spent with her dealing with these confounding emotions, and he was over it.

Now that they no longer had to fear much in the way of a Separatist attack, he had permitted them to build fires come nightfall. This whole droid facility had been operating in stealth mode - it didn’t send or receive regular transmissions. It would probably be some time before they even realized it had been destroyed. Strolling through a camp illuminated by the light of several fires was much easier than the blind navigating he and Ahsoka had done last night. Still, even if it _had_ been pitch dark, he wouldn’t have had a hard time finding them - Fives was even louder than the rowdy little Togruta. If he didn’t know for a fact that none of them had managed to smuggle any liquor on this trip, he almost would have suspected some of the boys were inebriated. 

Ahsoka was sitting down around a fire with Fives, Echo, Hardcase, Jesse, and Kix. He smiled at the fact that she even seemed to prefer the company of those who were closest to him in Torrent Company. Kix was the first one to notice him approaching, but the observant medic did nothing to warn the others of his arrival. Ahsoka sensed him a moment later, though he was nearly directly behind her. She cocked her head to one side, before looking over her shoulder at him. The expression in her eyes wasn’t the look of happiness he expected, but almost one of wariness. She had noticed he was avoiding her.

He smiled at her, trying to give her a little reassurance that he wasn’t angry anymore. She tentatively returned the smile and scooted over a bit to make room for him against the rock wall she was leaning back against. He stepped into the circle and lowered himself to the ground beside her, wishing for the umpteenth time that the Kaminoans had paid more attention to basic human anatomy when they designed their Phase I armor. The stuff held up just fine, but sitting in it was a karking nightmare. It was his own fault for not taking it off earlier when he had divested himself of his upper body kit, but for some reason, he felt naked in his blacks without the leg armor on. He drew his knees up and leaned back on his skidplate to keep his nuts from getting pinched by his codpiece. Actually being naked would be nearly as uncomfortable as this. _Dumbass longnecks._

“Captain,” Jesse greeted him. “What have you been up to all day? We expected you to be enjoying the downtime hours ago.”

Next to him, he felt Ahsoka tense all over again. Making an effort to sound nonchalant, he replied, “This and that. I’ll relax when we’re out of enemy territory and back on _The Resolute._ We’re too vulnerable to attack here.”

“The chances of them discovering that we’ve destroyed this factory before we’re gone are slim,” Echo quietly reminded him. “You don’t always have to worry, sir.”

The kid meant well, but it sounded like he thought Rex was paranoid. Granted, he had made _himself_ sound paranoid with his comment, so he couldn’t really blame Echo. They just wanted him to loosen up a little, and there wasn’t anything wrong with that. Besides, he had just said that as an excuse for his conspicuous absence. 

“Yeah,” he sighed, rubbing a hand over his stubbled jaw. “Maybe you’re right. Scanners are in place, so on the off chance they discover our handiwork, we’ll have time to get ready for them.”

Fives was watching him intently from where he sat opposite, the light from the fire flickering in his brown eyes. Rex knew that look. The ARC trooper was trying to solve a puzzle that had been placed before him. There was a mischievous glint in his gaze that suggested he thought he was close to figuring it out. 

Rex raised an eyebrow at him and asked, “So what have _you_ six been up to all afternoon?”

Fives smirked, “Oh, this and that.”

_Smartass wants another night patrol, doesn’t he?_

Rex flicked his eyes over their surroundings. They had chosen a location on the very edge of the camp, tucked up against the base of the adjacent mountain. Some conveniently placed boulders helped shield this fire from the line of sight of the rest of the troops. It wasn’t obviously hidden, just enough obscured that they had some semblance of privacy - a commodity that clones rarely enjoyed. 

The ground was packed and dusty here, leaving little after-images of what they had been doing, if one knew how to look. Canteens and meal packaging were strewn about the fire, but none of them directly in front of Fives and Ahsoka. Those two had an unobstructed space in front of their feet, and Rex could see little rectangular imprints in the dust in front of her, disturbed on the same corner. To the right of the fire, in an open space they could both access, the dust had been disturbed in two small areas.

_Cards. Sabacc?_

Sabacc decks were easy enough to keep amongst their gear, and he didn’t care if the boys played in their downtime, so long as the bets stayed reasonable and within regs. But Anakin had made it clear that he did _not_ want Ahsoka to be playing with the 501st anymore. He had been pretty sure she had kicked the habit months ago. Apparently not.

He gave her a sidelong look and decided to ask outright, “Playing sabacc again, Commander Tano?”

Her eyes widened, “How?”

He leaned forward and touched the ground between her boots, tracing the outline of her discards with a finger, “I know stuff.”

Fives rushed to defend her, “It was my idea, sir. And we didn’t bet credits or duties.”

“What _did_ you bet?” Rex pressed.

“We used chips for the pots, but the real prize was information,” he replied.

“Information? What, like some kind of truth game?”

“The loser had to tell the full, unredacted version of their most embarrassing moment in front of the group,” Echo supplied.

Rex immediately thought to last night and hoped Ahsoka’s winning streak had held. 

As if sensing his thoughts, she proudly announced that she had been the victor. He wondered if that’s why she had been laughing so much - Fives did weave a good tall tale. 

“Which embarrassing moment did you share? There’s a lot to choose from,” he asked the ARC trooper.

“The Blind Gundark.”

“FIVES!” Rex roared.

“Don’t worry,” he hastened to say, “I kept it clean.”

“There is no ‘clean’ version of that story!” Rex protested.

“It’s true, there really isn’t,” Jesse agreed. 

“But imagine if Echo hadn’t gone back to save you?” Hardcase pitched in. “No one would ever forget your name. Fives, the clone who bravely distracted a randy gundark by rolling in a female’s piss and running like hell. He went out like a hero.”

“Yeah, humped-to-death-by-gundark is not the way I plan on leaving this world,” Fives stated matter-of-factly. 

“Not dramatic enough?” Kix asked. 

“Not meaningful enough,” he replied. “If I can’t do anything worthwhile with my life, I want my death to at least count for something.”

He was getting philosophical again, Rex noted. It never ceased to amaze him how Fives could switch gears from comedic narrations to brooding soliloquies in the span of three ticks. He glanced at Ahsoka, wondering how this turn in the discussion was affecting her. She was staring into the fire, a far-away look in her eyes. _So, not well._ She drew her lower lip in between her teeth, but not before he noticed her chin quiver just the slightest bit. Abruptly, she released her lip and clenched her teeth, looking up at Fives.

“Then why did you go back for me today?” she demanded. “If you knew that you probably couldn’t save me, your death would have meant nothing.”

 _That_ got everyone’s attention. They looked at Fives expectantly, but he was just staring at Ahsoka, his eyebrows furrowed as if he didn’t understand the question. 

“Did it not mean anything to you?” he asked.

It clearly wasn’t the response she had been expecting, and for a moment she was taken aback. She looked down again, the blue stripes in her lekku darkening.

“I didn’t mean to make it sound like I was ungrateful - you know I’m not. But Fives, if you had run into those tunnels two ticks later than you did, we would both have been buried alive.”

“But I didn’t and we weren’t,” he countered. “I told you, I went back for you because that’s what I would have done for any of my brothers.”

“Just going back in there counted for something, regardless of the results,” Echo added. “Even more so because he _did_ save you. You’re both alive because he went back.”

“I know,” she replied, sounding even more miserable. “I know that. But it could have so easily gone the other way. I went back alone because I wanted to save lives.”

“You wanted _your_ death to count for something, just like he does,” Jesse pointed out. 

“I didn’t think I was going to die.” 

“Didn’t you?” Rex challenged, knowing that she wouldn’t have said her last words to him over the comm if she had been certain she was going to live.

“When I went in, I thought the chances were good that I’d make it out alive,” she clarified, her eyes locked onto his. “It wasn’t until I realized how much tunnel was between me and the exit after I ran out of charges that I began to consider the possibility that this was my last mission. But I accepted that.”

“And Fives accepted that there was a good chance he wouldn’t be able to save you,” said Hardcase. “But it worked out, and like Echo said - you’re _both_ here.”

Ahsoka sighed, “I hear you. All of you. But I still can’t help but feel that my choices keep on putting you all at risk.”

“Commander, you went back in there to make sure that factory blew up, so the rest of us at the front gate wouldn’t have to battle the whole facility’s worth of battledroids. That’s the opposite of putting us at risk,” Kix argued. “What you did was selfless and brave. What Fives did was selfless and brave too. You risked your life to save all those men. He risked his life to save you. One doesn’t have more or less weight than the other.” Rubbing a hand over his smooth, tattooed head, he sighed, “It’s been a long day for everyone. I think it’s time we all got some rest now.”

The others murmured their agreement, and started to rise and gather their discarded items. Rex stayed put, knowing there was more that needed to be said between him and Ahsoka. She had drawn her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. She was staring at the flames again, lost in thought. Fives stepped around the fire and squatted down in front of her, forcing her to look at him.

“I don’t have a single regret about going back in there for you. If I could go back, I would do it all over again.”

She looked up at him, her eyes a little watery - either from emotion or drifting smoke. “I know you would. I just…after what you said earlier about choices...I don’t want to be the reason you don’t have them.”

Fives slowly nodded in understanding, and reached out to put a hand on her knee, “I had a choice today. I chose to disobey a direct order. You did everything you could to make sure no one died needlessly, including me and Echo. And I disobeyed you and went back because of what that meant to me. I wasn’t compelled to do it because of conditioning. I did it because it was what I wanted to do. Don’t begrudge me my choice.”

“I don’t,” she whispered. “I’m sorry I made it sound like I did.”

“I know. I understand what you’re feeling,” he reassured her, giving her knee a pat. “Look, even if there are some things I don’t like about my life - you’re not one of them. Every clone here is a better man for having you at our sides. And we’d all give our lives for you the same as you’d give yours for us - not because of duty...because we love you.”

Well, that did it; now she was definitely crying. Fives rubbed her head between her montrals and then shot Rex a sideways look that said ‘she’s all yours’. Rising to his feet, he joined Echo, who had lingered after the others had slipped away. The other ARC trooper hesitated, as if wanting to add something, but Ahsoka had let her forehead drop to her knees and was quietly weeping. Echo looked like he was about to shed a tear himself, but he only offered Rex a blanket he had been sitting on, and pointed with his chin to the little Togruta. Rex nodded and took it, then tilted his head to dismiss them.

He wasn’t sure if he was grateful or annoyed that they had all left him with a crying girl, something he had absolutely no training whatsoever with how to deal with. On the other hand, he had seen Ahsoka at some of her lowest points, and he had never seen her moved to tears before. Not like this. Maybe this was a good thing. She needed to let her bottled up emotions out and she was comfortable enough to be this vulnerable with them - with him. He scooted closer and reached over to drape the blanket over her shoulders. She clutched the course material to herself, turning her head slightly to look at him with large, sad eyes; and every muscle in his body coiled up tightly. 

He wanted to hold her like he had earlier, just scoop her up and lean her against his chest and let her cry it out. The feeling was foreign to him. He didn’t have much experience with distraught people, just the occasional citizen they encountered on a relief mission - either devastated from the destruction of their home or overjoyed that they had been given aid. He usually made himself scarce when he saw people like that. He was fine with giving his brothers a comforting pat on the shoulder or throwing an arm over their shoulders, but hugs were rare and brief. 

But she was so small and so close and the look she was giving him was tearing him up inside. Protocols and regulations be damned, he wasn’t going to just sit here and watch her cry like this. 

“Come here, kid,” he said, reaching his arm across her back and tugging on her shoulder. 

She let him pull her against his side, tucking her cheek against his chest. Her hands were holding the edges of the blanket under her chin, her boney little shoulder digging into his ribs. He ignored it and rubbed the outside of her arm through the material. 

“He’s right, you know,” he told her.

She sniffed, “About what?”

“We’re better because of you.”

“You’re the 501st. You were already the best.”

“I’m not talking about being better fighters. Neither was he. We’re better _men_ because of you, Ahsoka. Because you always remind us of what really matters and why we’re doing this.”

“But that’s just it,” she whispered. “You don’t have a choice, do you? Even if what we’re doing is the right thing, and even if we are helping save the galaxy from the control of an evil government - you were never given a choice about whether or not to fight.”

This wasn’t just her speaking, he realized. 

“What did Fives say to you when you were trapped in that tunnel?”

“He just...he made me see the truth,” she said. “I know that people have mixed feelings about the clones, and that some people see you as expendable. I know that. But it’s been less than two years since all this started, and I wanted to believe that it was just ignorance on the part of people who don’t know you and don’t understand you. It was enough for me to know better and to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. But it’s more than just how other people see you. It’s...it’s knowing that every clone who has fallen or will fall in this war died without getting to choose for himself what he was fighting for. It’s taken me so long to see it. You were bought and paid for and forced to fight this war for us, like--”

“Like slaves?” he supplied the word she didn’t want to say.

“Yes,” she choked out, pressing closer to him.

He hesitated, not really knowing how to answer her. It’s not as if he hadn’t thought about this before. Of course he had. Especially since Fives had made ARC trooper, he had gotten more and more vocal about his distaste for how the clones were treated. They all had their reservations about the conflict and the part they played in it. But that was never something that they discussed with the Jedi. 

The facts were this: there was a war going on and they had been trained their entire lives to do exactly what they were doing. They were good at fighting. They enjoyed fighting. And there was no doubt they were fighting on the right side.

Well, there was little doubt, in any case. Fives would argue that a Republic who fought for freedom using an unpaid, conscripted army of cloned humans was hypocritical to say the least. He had a point. Rex knew that the Republic had not ordered the production of the clone army, nor had the Jedi...but he couldn’t really fault them for using it once it had been revealed to them. What were they supposed to do? Say “thanks, but no thanks”? 

None of that really mattered anyway. It was done. They were here. And the Separatists were a scourge on the entire galaxy - they needed to be beaten. A memory teased the edge of his mind, and he debated sharing it. He knew he could trust her with the story, but he didn’t know if it would help her to understand how he felt.

Making a decision, he drew a deep breath and asked, “Do you remember the mission I had on Saleucami with General Kenobi?”

“You mean that time you came back with a hole in your chest and had to spend two days in a bacta tank to heal that plus all the nerve damage from falling off your speeder bike _and_ fighting twenty commando droids? Nope, don’t recall.”

At least she was making an attempt at humor. _Good_.

He chuckled, “You weren’t worried about me or anything, were you?”

“Not at all. I definitely didn’t neglect my training, blow off my friends, or lose any sleep at all during those forty-eight hours.”

He snorted, “Why? You knew I would make a full recovery.”

“Yeah, but I wanted to be there when you woke up so I could lay into you for scaring me like that. But when you finally got out of there, I was so tired and so relieved I forgot to yell at you.”

“What a shame. Did you read the report I wrote afterward?”

“No. I talked to Jesse and the boys and they filled me in. You stayed with that farming family, right?”

“Yeah, but there was something special about that family,” he said, dropping his voice low. “Something I didn’t include in my report. There was a Twi-lek woman and two half-human children. Later that night, I met her husband when he came to the barn. Imagine my surprise when it was my face looking back at me.”

“What?” she whisper-hissed, lifting her head off his chest to look at him. “He was a clone?”

“Mmhmm. His name was Cut Lawquane. He had deserted right after the first battle of Geonosis when Separatist gunships shot down his transport and went back to finish off the survivors. He escaped, made it to Saleucami, fell in love with Suu, and got married. Became a farmer.”

“And they had children together?” she asked.

“The kids weren’t his - they were both too old. But he raised them as his and they called him ‘daddy’. At first, I was angry that he had abandoned his brothers and the war. I thought he was a coward. But then I started to get to know him, and I listened to what he was teaching his children about letting people make their own choices. Later that night, the kids found a droid escape pod from the battle, crashed in their field. They accidentally activated the commando droids inside.”

Ahsoka sucked in a breath.

“They were okay. They ran back to the house and Cut told me to go upstairs with his family. I was still in bad shape - I was weak and I couldn’t use my left arm at all - but he wanted me to be the last line of defense for them. He used an antique rifle and his bare hands and took out almost every single droid by himself. He wasn’t a coward. He was just fighting for something other than what I was fighting for.”

She angled herself toward him a bit more, still keeping herself pressed to his side, “Do you ever wish you had done the same thing? Gone off and started a family, I mean.”

“No,” he replied without hesitation. “I don’t begrudge him for leaving, especially when he had a family to protect. But I have my own family to take care of. I know who I’m fighting for. The Republic is not just some abstract concept - it’s people. I’m fighting for them. But more than that, I’m fighting for my brothers, General Skywalker...and you.”

Her crystalline eyes widened as she gazed up at him, “Me?”

He lifted his hand from her shoulder and gently tugged at the beads dangling at the back of her montrals, “I guess what I’m trying to say is - I love you too, little one. And I’m not even joking, I will shoot the next person who suggests putting you on another back-door factory demolition assignment.”

She graced him with a smile that lit up her whole face and rose to her knees, throwing her arms around his neck. He returned the embrace, holding her tightly. Rex had to admit that hugs were sort of nice, and this time he felt no awkwardness with her or an inclination to break away quickly. He wasn’t planning on letting it be a regular occurrence with her, because that would only lead to gossip - but certainly there were times like these that warranted affection. 

“I was worried you were mad at me for saying that earlier,” she admitted, her voice muffled against his neck.

“Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you for that?”

She took a deep breath and slowly dropped her arms from around him, returning to her original position beside him.

“Because you seemed like you were avoiding me,” she reasoned.

“Yeah, well,” he rubbed the back of his head and looked to the side, “I guess I was for a bit. But it wasn’t because I was mad at you...not exactly.”

“‘Not exactly’?” she asked, a hint of concern darkening her eyes.

“Ahsoka, when you closed that comm channel, and the explosions went off...I thought I’d lost you for good. I’ve gotten used to losing my brothers in battle, but yours hit me differently. I was angry, real angry. Then General Skywalker told me you were alive and he was going to dig you and Fives out - but for some reason, I was still angry. I didn’t understand why and I’ve been thinking on it all afternoon.”

“And?” she asked.

He took a moment to gather his thoughts before continuing, “...Us clones are trained not to get too attached, even to each other. In that way, we’re a lot like the Jedi. Losing a brother we’re close to isn’t easy, but it’s something we deal with all the time. You take the memories of that person with you and you keep going. But today I realized that if I lost you...I’d be losing part of myself. I’m not really good at explaining it--”

“Yes you are. That’s how I feel too,” she said quietly, leaning her head against his arm.

“The problem is, I have no right to feel that way toward you. General Skywalker is your Master. I am a Captain under your command--”

“Rank doesn’t matter when it comes to the people we care about, Rex. Anakin has helped shape me into who I am, and he’s a part of me. We have a strong master/padawan bond, and it would tear me up to lose him, whether or not I’m supposed to feel that way. But you’ve also been there from the very beginning, teaching me along with your other shinies. We’ve both influenced each other since we’ve been together, like you said. You get me...sometimes I think better than even Anakin does. Because of our experiences, you know me better than even the young Jedi that I grew up with.”

“War creates bonds that no one else can understand,” he agreed.

“Exactly. I do understand why the Jedi don’t want us to have attachments. And I get why they want us to keep our emotions in check during a war, when we know we’re going to keep losing our friends and brothers. But how can we trust each other with our lives - eat together, train together, fight together, mourn together, laugh together, _live_ together - without loving each other?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “If there’s a way to do it, I haven’t figured it out.”

“I’m not sure I _want_ to figure it out,” she declared. “How often do we bend and break the rules to fit our needs? I know many of the Jedi disagree with the way Anakin has been teaching me, but sometimes I wonder if all the rules of the Order are truly wise. I think that he struggles with it too, but if I ask him about it, he always clams up on me - like he’s embarrassed that he has doubts too. I feel that you and the boys are the only people who I can talk to about it.”

“And by ‘the boys’, you mean Fives,” Rex guessed.

“Well, he is one of the few who is more familiar with our teachings. Master Ti gave him more information on the Jedi than what you all got in your basic education.”

“Yeah, well Fives has always been one to ask plenty of questions. I take it you two talked about some of this while you were trapped in the cave?”

“We talked about a lot of things…” she trailed off, as if she was unsure what she could tell him.

Knowing the ARC trooper’s loose-tongued reputation, Rex would have been surprised if there was something that she had confided in Fives that she would be reluctant to share with him. On the other hand, if it came to breaking - or at the very least, questioning - rules, it was possible she thought him too rigid to be sympathetic. 

“Would you ever have sex with someone you didn’t love?” she asked, suddenly.

It took about five full ticks for him to even process the question, another three to wonder where in the hell that had even come from, and six on top of that to answer.

“I...honestly have not given it much thought. Why?”

“It’s just something Fives pointed out to me.”

“Do I even wanna know what prompted a conversation about _that_?”

She shifted against him, “We were talking about attachments, all sorts of them. Fives thought that Jedi were celibate, but I told him that the Order requires no such vows. For me, I just don’t think I could do that with someone I wasn’t in love with. It would be like I was just using that person for pleasure. It seems wrong to me - selfish. So many things are forbidden to Jedi because they can lead to the Dark Side. Attachment...no, let’s call it what it is: love. Love is forbidden. But sex isn’t? I really don’t know what to think about that.”

Rex couldn’t say he was comfortable with the turn this conversation had taken. She was asking him questions that he had not given much consideration to. He had no experience in this arena. He wasn’t sure it was even appropriate for him to be discussing this with her. But she didn’t have a family to confide in - no mother or father or big sisters to ask about these things. She had Skywalker, but he didn’t really blame her for not wanting to talk to her Master about it. 

That Ahsoka had chosen to be vulnerable with _him_ , of all people, was both flattering and terrifying. She had apparently already discussed it with Fives, with whom she seemed to be getting very close. He wondered if the hours they had spent together trapped in the tunnels had made her feel more for the ARC trooper. Perhaps their conversation about sexual intimacy might have sparked something on Ahsoka’s part. 

With that in mind, he chose his next words carefully.

“I guess I’m with you on this one. I have chosen to...abstain from those pursuits, because I know I can’t have a romantic relationship. It doesn’t seem fair to either person involved, and it can get complicated really quickly.”

“But your brothers don’t all feel that way,” she pointed out.

“That’s true. There are some who seek out clones for pleasure, and plenty of the boys are happy to deliver,” he stopped himself before he made an off-color comment about consumer satisfaction ratings, because there was no need to tempt her further if she did have feelings for Fives. “But those are generally shallow, one-night stands.”

“What about after the war?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“When all this is over, and you have done the job you were trained for - what then? Do you want to find another trade, settle down, get married, and have kids?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted.

“Fives said that he wished he had the option of having a girlfriend or a wife now,” she mused.

“Did he?” 

Rex thought back to what Fives had said that night and looked at it in a different light. He had used the words “we” when he talked about the clones loving Ahsoka, but what if he meant himself, specifically? The way he touched her knee and her montrals was familiar, but not something that had tripped any alarms for Rex, in the moment. But he also knew that Fives had bedded women before, and was much more experienced in that area than him. Could it be that Fives also had feelings for Ahsoka?

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he muttered. 

“Why not?” she asked.

“Countless reasons, Ahsoka. We don’t get paid, so how are we supposed to support a wife or a family? We die by the tens of thousands every year - how many more widows and fatherless children does the galaxy need? The men would be pining for their family at home instead of focusing on their mission, which just means _more_ would end up dying. We’re rarely in one place for very long, so how long before those lovers decide they’ve had enough? We’d be getting “Dear CT” messages every day. Moral would tank. 

The only people who we could plausibly maintain a relationship with are those who are serving with us. But then, the conflicts of interest and the chain of command issues that would spawn would destroy us. And, of course, the Jedi are forbidden from such things, so no matter how attractive your General is, she’s not on the menu. Sorry, Bly.”

“Wait. Does he…?”

“It was just an example.”

“Sure it was,” she snickered.

Rex cleared his throat, “In any case...clones having steady relationships is not going to be permitted, at least until the end of the war. After that, who knows?”

Ahsoka yawned, “At least you have something to look forward to.”

“Yeah, maybe. Listen, I know I couldn’t answer all of your questions, but I hope that helped you somewhat.”

“It did, Rex. It did,” she replied, rubbing her cheek against his arm affectionately. “Thank you for talking with me about this. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

“It’s alright, I understand. There’s not a whole lot of other people you can confide in about this, I guess. I think it just surprised me that you were thinking about it at all.”

“I told you, I’m not a kid anymore,” she reminded him.

“I know you’re not. I just don’t want you to be in too much of a hurry to grow up...in every way.”

“Growing up in war happens in a hurry, whether you want it to or not.”

He looked down at the top of her head and considered her a moment. Physically, she _was_ getting taller, her montrals and lekku beginning to lengthen. She looked much more mature than she did when they first met - especially wearing his shirt. More than that, she had grown in wisdom and discernment. There were still a great many things she had yet to learn; but, as this conversation had made him painfully aware of, so did he. He supposed, in some ways, they were both growing. 

Really, was there ever a point when one stopped growing? 

Great, now _he_ was getting philosophical. He must be overtired. And he still hadn’t answered her.

“You’re right. And I suppose it’s normal for you to be thinking through all this, at your age. Just, promise me one thing…”

“What?”

“I’m not sayin’ that I think you _should_ do this: but, _if_ you do decide to start - experimenting - find someone outside of the five-oh-first to do it with.”

She was quiet for a few ticks, and he felt more sure than ever that there was _someone_ she had on her mind. Someone in the legion. Someone here. Fives was the most likely candidate in his mind, but he couldn’t rule out anyone, including himself. As innocent as it had seemed, she _had_ hugged him twice in as many days.

“I don’t plan on experimenting with anyone. I’m still not sure what to think about the apparent hypocrisy of the Order teaching Jedi to be unselfish, but then allowing them to have sexual relations without attachment. I think I should talk to other Jedi about it, I’m just kind of embarrassed to bring it up with them.”

“Start with someone you trust, someone you know understands you,” Rex suggested.

She nudged his shoulder with her head, “Good advice. Why do you think I brought it up to _you_?”

He had figured as much, but it made him feel a strange swelling of pride to hear her say it out loud. She had opened a window to her heart and let him see what was troubling her. It was touching.

“I’m glad that you think that way about me, Ahsoka. But I’m afraid on this subject, you and I are equally inexperienced.”

“True. But just because we’re both virgins, doesn’t mean we can’t have opinions about it. Do you...um...think you _would_ ever want to have a relationship? After the war, I mean.”

“I suppose if I ever got to a place in my life where I felt I could put that person first in my life. I’m wholly loyal to the Republic, but if there ever came a time when my service was deemed over, and I could actually devote myself to someone instead of the job, I might consider it.” He shifted a little on his aching tailbone and crossed his legs at the ankles, “I try not to think about it too much. I do find some women to be attractive, but I agree with you, I’d have to really love her before I could...go any further.”

“Blondes or brunettes?”

She was teasing him, but there was no way he could tell her the truth - that if he had a “type”, it would probably be Togruta - maybe Twi-lek. He didn’t know why he preferred them over humans, maybe it was because he had more experiences with them. Ahsoka was the only female he had ever spent sustained time with, and even if he didn’t feel that way about her specifically, he still thought that she was pretty. He mentally ran through any other women he knew. The list was short.

Shaak Ti came to mind. She was breathtakingly beautiful, though he didn’t have a crush on her the same way most of the younger boys trained by her did. Aayla Secura was attractive in a more exotic way. Padme Amidala was the only human woman he had spent any time with, and while she was pleasing to the eye, he didn’t feel drawn to her. The Pantoran Senator Chuchi was also beautiful, but all throughout his mission to that Force-forsaken moon, looking at her just made him think of Ahsoka, despite the glaring differences in their personalities. Besides Luminara Unduli and her padawan, neither of whom interested him, no other women stood out in his mind. 

“Neither,” he finally said, but didn’t elaborate further.

“Alright, keep your secrets,” she pouted.

“What’s _your_ type?” he asked, wondering if he really wanted to know. _Please don’t say tall, dark, and goateed._

“Uh uh. You wouldn’t tell me, so I’m not gonna tell you.”

“Fair.”

They both fell into a comfortable silence after that, staring at the fire as it crackled quietly before them. It was getting late now, and fatigue was beginning to make Rex’ eyes feel heavy. His rage-fueled rampage this morning, plus all the rocks he had helped clear from that tunnel, had taken a toll on him. And his rear end was violently protesting the prolonged pressure on his tailbone. 

Ahsoka’s head drooped forward on his shoulder before she caught herself and raised it again. She was just as exhausted as he was. 

“Hey you, time for bed,” he said, slowly sitting forward.

She mewled in protest, but lifted her head off him and stretched, “I think I’ll just sleep here tonight. I don’t feel like setting up my shelter now.”

She scooted a little closer to the fire and snapped the blanket out to draw over herself. Stretching out on her back, she put an arm underneath her neck for a pillow. Rex eyed her for a moment, debating if he should leave her here alone or not. There was no danger, as far as he could tell, and if there was, she was more than capable of handling herself. All the same, he was reluctant to leave her alone at the edge of the camp. 

And it wasn’t as if he had a warm bedroll waiting for him anywhere else. 

“I’ll be back,” he told her.

She made a sleepy sound of acknowledgement as he navigated the circle of stones around the fire and found his way back to where he had stashed the rest of his armor. He grabbed it and placed it inside his own spread out blanket. Gathering up the corners, he slung the heavy kit over his shoulders and started making his way back toward the fire, careful not to trip over any of his sprawling brothers. 

“You sleeping with her tonight?” a quiet voice asked from somewhere to his right.

Rex froze. Was he... _what_? From the flickering light of another small fire, he could make out Fives’ features where he was sitting up on his blanket. 

The younger clone silently gained his feet and approached him, drawing near enough that their conversation would not be heard by any half awake brothers.

“Sorry, that came out wrong,” Fives whispered, reading the displeasure in Rex’ narrowed gaze. “What I meant was, are you going to keep her company?”

“Yes,” Rex replied. “She’s sleeping by the fire. I didn’t want to leave her alone that far from the others.”

Fives nodded, “Good. She shouldn’t be alone after all that happened to her today. Is she doing better?”

“I think so. She’s just got to work through some things for herself, but she’ll be okay.”

“Guess our little sister is growing up,” the ARC trooper observed.

“Yeah, well - she’s not all grown up yet. And I’d prefer it if you let her stay innocent to some things for a while longer,” Rex said pointedly.

He could just make out the confusion on Fives’ face before his eyes widened in understanding, “She told you about our little talk in the tunnels?”

“Some of it. Look, I know she’s curious and she’s asking questions about a lot of things right now, but I just don’t think we need to be fueling her imagination, okay?”

“I didn’t. She asked me if I had ever been with someone and I said ‘yes’. I didn’t give her any details, and I wouldn’t if she asked.”

“Really? You seem to like sharing details with _us_ , even when we don’t ask.”

“That’s different. You’re brothers. She’s…”

“A Jedi and our commanding officer - despite her age.”

“And a _friend_. Or are you the only one who can treat her that way?”

Rex sighed, “No, I’m not the only one. Look, I’m glad that you and Ahsoka are close. I just don’t want her to be tempted into something...more.”

Fives blinked, “You think she might have romantic feelings for _me_?”

“Well, you did rush back into a collapsing tunnel to save her life today. That certainly had an impact on her, and she clearly wants you to stay safe.”

Fives turned his head and exhaled through his nose in a way that sounded suspiciously like a laugh, “I’m quite certain she doesn’t feel that way about me. She wants us _all_ to be safe, I’m not special to her. I’m just the big brother she likes to spank at sabacc.”

“Maybe. Just be aware of what you talk about with her, okay?”

“I will, I promise. You better get back to her or she’ll wonder what happened to you.”

“Alright. ‘Night, Fives.”

“G’night, Cap.”

Rex started to move away, but then whispered over his shoulder, “And Fives?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for going back in there for her. For once, I’m glad you didn’t listen to orders.”

He caught the flash of Fives’ grin, “I’ll try not to let it become a habit.”

“Ha, I’ll believe _that_ when I see it,” he replied in an amused tone.

Rex did really like Fives, even if the kid did drive him up the wall sometimes. He had a heart of gold, and he was too smart by half. He had earned his place as an ARC trooper, to be sure. If he ever used his intelligence for something apart from causing trouble - for Seppies _and_ his commanding officers - he would definitely be going places. 

When he returned to Ahsoka, she appeared to be fast asleep. Careful not to rattle his armor too much, he set the blanket down and began stacking his kit. He removed his leg armor and added that to the neat pile. The night wasn’t cold, and the fire was still giving off enough warmth that he didn’t really want to use the blanket over his blacks. He folded it a few times and then rolled it into a long, thin cylinder. 

He crouched down next to Ahsoka and gingerly slid his fingers beneath her rear lek, lifting her head. He used his other hand to tug her arm out from under her neck, replacing it with one end of the blanket. She stirred, but didn’t wake. Stretching out in the opposite direction, he laid back on the other end of the make-shift pillow. The packed ground was a whole lot more comfortable without his armor on. He folded his hands over his stomach, letting the stress of the day roll off his shoulders.

As was his habit before going to sleep, he counted his blessings. The mission was a success - the Techno Union’s hidden droid factory was rubble. Ahsoka had succeeded in keeping a lot more of the boys alive. And, even though it had been a close call, she and Fives were just fine. _The Resolute_ was on its way, and come the morning they would be headed back to Coruscant for a short reprieve. 

Ahsoka mumbled something incoherent and rolled over onto her side, her nose brushing against his ear and her long eyelashes tickling his cheekbone. He considered sliding over to give her more room, but her proximity didn’t really bother him. He let his jaw rest on her forehead and drifted off into a sleep more peaceful than any he could last remember.

He didn’t even have the nightmare.

* * *

_Three days later…_

Rex sat in the mess hall, picking over his dinner while catching up with some of the men. Wolffe, Sinker, and Boost had sat down at the table he was sharing with Fives and Echo. The former was regalling them with stories from their latest missions with General Plo. Fives sat across from Rex with his chin on his hand, a puckish little smirk plastered on his face as he listened to Wolffe wrap up his story. He had no idea what the idiot was grinning about, but he kicked him under the table before the cantankerous commander could take notice.

Fives shot him a “what was that for?” look before becoming distracted by something over Rex’ shoulder. He must have found whatever it was amusing, because the smirk was back on his face. 

“Hey boys,” Ahsoka’s sing-song interrupted them. 

Rex paused with his spoon half raised to look over his shoulder and greet her.

“Hey, comm--ander…” he trailed off, taking in the sight of her.

“What? Your shirt was comfy, but not exactly my style,” she said, turning in a circle so he could get a three-sixty degree view of her new wardrobe.

She had exchanged her little tube top for a burgundy dress that clung to her every curve. The collar extended from her throat to her thighs, with a teardrop shaped opening in the front, offering a window to the center of her breasts. The shadowed cleavage it revealed seemed to reinforce her constant declarations that she was no longer a youngling. The back of the dress sported a much larger window from her shoulders to lower back. She had changed her belt for one that accentuated the flare of her hips, and traded her white leggings for dark gray ones - these too with material conspicuously removed. On each side, a row of five diamond shaped cut outs led from the upper edge of her boots to the top of her legs, culminating in a prominent sixth diamond on the outside of her sienna thighs.

Technically, the dress covered more than the tube top had. And yet, it gave the distinct impression of covering less. The overall effect was that she looked older - confident in her blossoming womanhood - which he assumed had been her intention. 

The thick porridge that had been resting on his spoon slid off and hit his plate with splat, reminding him that he was still staring at her without so much as a word passing his lips. She crossed her arms, pressing the contents of that stupid little window together, and tapped her fingers impatiently on her forearms. 

“Well?” she asked. “Do you like it?”

 _No._ “Yeah - it’s nice. Very, uh...flattering,” he hoped his face didn’t look as red as it felt.

 _Get a grip, Rex...it’s not like you haven’t seen her breasts before,_ he chided himself, and then instantly regretted thinking back to that moment. If he wasn’t flushed before, he sure as hell was now.

She shrugged nonchalantly, but the tilt of her mouth said she was pleased with the reaction she was getting.

“It’s more practical than what I had. We shouldn’t have any repeats of the reconn-that-shall-not-be-named, anyway.” 

_Did she really just bring that up_ here _of all places?_

Behind him, Fives snorted loudly. Rex turned to glare at him, noting that Echo’s face was _definitely_ red and Sinker’s mismatched eyes were round as bounty pucks. 

“I don’t know if you want this back, but here,” she said, drawing his attention back to her.

She offered him a small folded square of material that he hadn’t noticed was tucked in the back of her belt earlier. His shirt. 

“Thanks,” he said, accepting it from her. 

“I didn’t have a chance to wash it,” she apologized, as she squeezed onto the edge of the bench on the other side of him.

“S’fine, it’s not like it was clean when I gave it to _you_ ,” he said, draping the shirt over his thigh under the table so it didn’t get in the way.

Fives slid his bowl of dessert - some sort of colorful gelatinous substance - across the table to Ahsoka, who accepted it with glee. For whatever reason, the Togruta could never get enough of the stuff. 

“Am I supposed to slurp it from the bowl?” she asked. “Because I will.”

Fives made a show of licking his spoon clean and handed it to her, to which she replied “Eew”, and then proceeded to use it without even wiping it off - which earned her a chorus of disgusted, yet impressed “oohs” from Echo, Sinker, and Boost. 

Wolffe just rolled his eyes and muttered, “Kids,” before going back to work on his half-eaten meal. 

Rex polished off the rest of his porridge in short order. As much as he wanted to stay and chat longer, especially now that she was here, he had a mountain of datapads waiting on his desk that required his attention. He stacked his cup on his tray and rose from the table, carefully extracting himself from the bench without kicking Ahsoka off the edge.

“Do you want anything else?” he asked her. 

“No thanks, I already ate at the Temple before I got here.”

“You mean you weren’t craving porridge and freeze-dried protein steaks?” Boost quipped.

She wrinkled her nose at him, “I prefer my steaks to be made of actual meat.”

“You prefer your steaks to still be trying to crawl off your plate,” Fives teased.

Even Wolffe chuckled at that one, knowing full well the little Togruta preferred her meat on the rare side. 

“Alright, I’m going to finish those re-order forms,” Rex announced. “You kids stay out of trouble.”

“Hold up, I’m heading that way too,” Wolffe said, tossing back the contents of his cup and rising as well.

“Uh, sir...you got a…” Echo couldn’t quite find the words.

“Blue mustache,” Ahsoka supplied for him.

The commander grunted and wiped the milk off his upper lip with the back of his arm, before falling in with Rex as they deposited their trays with the serving droid and exited the mess. Once out of earshot of the Togruta Jedi - which was considerably further than that of even the enhanced clones - Wolffe nudged Rex’ arm.

“What d’ya think of the little commander’s new duds?”

Rex grimaced, “I think she’s making the case loud and clear that she’s not ‘little’ anymore.”

Wolffe nodded his head, “Do you think she knows how many heads she turned when she walked in today?”

“How could she not? Echo looked like he was being choked out by a cloaked assassin and I thought Sinker’s eyes were going to pop out of his head.”

“You weren’t exactly unaffected either, Rex, ol’ buddy” Wolffe pointed out.

He winced, “I know. What the hell is wrong with me?”

“You have eyes and a d--”

“Don’t say it.”

“Okay, fine. Like you said - she’s not a kid anymore. She’s beautiful, and she knows it. And she clearly wants you to acknowledge it.”

“Me?”

“Rex, she didn’t take her eyes off you the entire time - she wasn’t lookin’ at any of the rest of us. That whole ‘do you like it?’ line was directly solely at you. And why the hell did she have your shirt to begin with?”

“Her top met with an unfortunate accident on our last mission. I gave her my undershirt to cover her up with.”

“Ah, figured it had to be something like that. So she chose _that_ as a replacement?”

“At least it covers more,” Rex pointed out.

“Yeah, great - her navel is covered. Now there’s just the matter of that little strategically placed window in the front of her dress that draws the eyes straight down every time you look at her. Good luck not letting that distract you in the middle of a conversation.”

“I _don’t_ think of her that way, Wolffe. She’s my commander and my friend. I care about her, but that doesn’t mean that I’m attracted to her sexually. She’s not even sixteen yet, for kriff’s sake!”

“Easy, Rex. I’m not suggesting you are having any inappropriate thoughts about her. I don’t want her that way either, but even I have to admit, she’s beautiful.”

Rex slowed down as they reached the junction where they would need to part ways, “I know she’s beautiful. And she’s graceful, and smart, and strong, and kind-hearted, and brave. I admire her - but that’s all.”

Wolffe gave him a lopsided smirk, “You forgot tenacious and stubborn.”

Rex grinned, “That too.”

“Makes me glad we’ve just got General Plo. Sounds like serving with an _admirable_ young woman is complicated.”

“It has its moments,” Rex admitted. “But I wouldn’t trade her for anyone.”

“Alright, brother. We’ve both got stacks of datapads waiting for us. I’ll see you later.”

“See you later, sir,” he replied, knowing it irritated Wolffe when he called him that. 

Predictably, the leader of the Wolfpack rolled his eyes and Rex chuckled, giving him a little clap on the shoulder before heading down the left hallway toward his barracks. Once there, Rex headed for his office and settled into his chair, mentally calculating how many hours it would take for him to finish all this paperwork. 

A pressure at his side reminded him that his shirt was still tucked in his belt. He pulled it out and unfolded it. The strip of hem was still tied in the armholes, giving the shirt a more feminine shape as he held it up in front of him. It would be a simple matter to have a service droid wash it and reset the hem. He began to set it to the side, but then the material wafted a familiar scent to him and he pulled it closer to his nose, breathing in Ahsoka’s warm, nutty fragrance. 

Maybe he would hold off a while before having it washed and mended. He didn’t dare ask himself why. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that ending took a turn I had not originally intended on writing, but I'm quite happy with it. Trying to write from a man's perspective can be challenging sometimes, especially when dealing with a complicated relationship, such as this one. This has been an exercise in exploring male psychology for me. Men are, after all, visual creatures, and Rex is struggling with reconciling the feelings of friendship he has for Ahsoka with his physiological response to her visual appeal. He's determined not to let his feelings go beyond friendship at this point, and rightly so - but the groundwork is being laid for those feelings to shift. Allow me to get philosophical for a moment and explain further...
> 
> The Greeks had seven words to describe different types of love:  
> Eros: romantic, passionate love.  
> Philia: intimate, authentic friendship.  
> Ludus: playful, flirtatious love.  
> Storge: unconditional, familial love.  
> Philautia: self-love.  
> Pragma: committed, companionate love.  
> Agápe: empathetic, universal love.
> 
> People experience layers of love for one another. In Rex' case, his love for Ahsoka begins as STORGE, a built-in allegiance to her, rooted in their common goals and the ingrained loyalty to his Jedi superiors. It shifts to the familial definition of STORGE as he comes to see her as a little sister. Over the years, as their shared experiences deepen their trust and intimacy with each other, his love for her shifts to PHILIA - the love of true friends. This love is the basis for healthy relationships between equals, be they romantic or platonic. It's a soul-to-soul understanding of another person rooted in kindness, encouragement, and the authentic desire for what's best for the other person.
> 
> At the end of the story, we can see the seeds of EROS being planted in his feelings for Ahsoka. It begins first as the acknowledgement that she is physically appealing to him, which he really can't help. But he is determined to stave off that attraction, not letting it grow into desire at this point. But those seeds are there, under the surface, just waiting for the appropriate time and place to be watered. A couple years and a few traumatic experiences will undoubtedly provide fertile ground for that layer of love to be added to the firm foundation that is already there. But that is a story for later...
> 
> If anyone wants more details on the 7 words for Greek love, this is a concise article that describes them without going overboard:  
> https://www.wellandgood.com/good-advice/greek-words-for-love/


End file.
